Good Friday of the Lord's Passion

Today's readings: April 10, 2009
Reading One: Is 52:13—53:12 ;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 31:2, 6, 12-13, 15-16, 17, 25 ;
Second Reading: Heb 4:14-16; 5:7-9 ;
Gospel: Jn 18:1—19:42 ; go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

May your heart be changed as you listen or read God's Word today. I hope your Lenten Journey was beneficial and that you renewed and strengthened your love and appreciation of God. If not, Change. Like the spring buds popping about everywhere, blossom and find new life. Ask God for the grace to enjoy your own springtime, and ask to be renewed in your love of God, your love of others, that your heart might find new heights of thankfulness, and that He helps you with your unbelief.

I hope the changes you made leave you feeling happier, and that you continue to grow in Holiness and not slip into old habits. Don't give up. God can do the impossible, keep asking for help when you need it. When you are most in need, He is closest to you. Spend more time in prayer, please. It is so beneficial, but you have to find time to get to the treasures. And sing your prayers, in your home when no one is around, or if others are around. Pray and don't be afraid to sing your prayers.

Prayer does not change God, but it changes those who pray.
Soren Kierkegaard

The Catholic church offers two services on Good Friday. The Veneration of the Cross, and in some parishes, there is also a Tenebrae service. You learn more about that here.

Today is a sad and mournful day. I remember growing up, how so many times, the sky would turn dark around 3:30 PM, and often just pour down rain. There were even a few years where it was a nice sunny day in the morning, and then in the middle of the afternoon, the sky would darken in the ominous way. A reminder of who is in charge of the weather. I wonder what today will bring? (ed - Friday, EST - 1:33PM, dark, overcast - downright lugubrious).

In case you were wondering, scripture tells us Jesus was crucified at Golgotha, the Valley of the Skull. Calvary is Latin for skull or so I remember reading somewhere. So where is it? Well, in truth, no one can really be certain, but after a little research, I think it is close to or at one of the Church of the Holy Sepulchre. Now there are a bunch of churches with that name around Jerusalem, but if you check google maps, doing a search of Church of the Holy Sepulchre, you can look at the one with the marker - A, which contains the following text in the description.

The Church of the Holy Sepulchre , also called the Church of the Resurrection, by Eastern Christians, is a Christian church within the walled Old City of Jerusalem.The site is worshiped by most Christians as Golgotha,(the Hill of Calvery), where as the New Testament says that Jesus was crucified, and is said to also contain the place where Jesus was buried (the sepulcher).

Here is an interesting read on the subject of Where was Golgotha?

I thought I would close with a wonderful blues video by Roy Buchanan, offering a wonderful rendition of the blues tune - The Messiah Will Come Again. Hang in there, and remember how it is often dark and scary sometimes in life. Have Faith! The darkest hour is often right before the dawn.

Wednesday of Holy Week

Today's readings: April 8, 2009
Reading One: Is 50:4-9a;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 69:8-10, 21-22, 31 and 33-34 ;
Gospel: Mt 26:14-25;
go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

Today's readings are so powerful to me. Especially the first reading from Isaiah. How deeply these words are written into heart. And they are very comforting words when you find yourself in a place where others are disparaging you with harsh words.

In early February 2002 on Ash Wednesday. I arrived home and found a large packet in the mail. I recognized the name of the return address, because I knew the name of the man on the outside of the envelope. He had once done some work for me, in that instance - he was asked to defend me in a battle that was being waged against me. But in this case, the man's name on the outside of the envelope was not representing me, he was in an adversarial role. While I thought I knew what was inside, I was mistaken. The contents included all kinds of slanderous lies about me, and the words cut to the deepest part of my heart. A day or two later, my dad was kind to me, and explained that this is what those people do. That is what they are paid for. Don't take it personally.

But as I read the words for the first time, I feared that all kinds of terrible ramifications would unfold, making a difficult situation unbearable. Thank God in His kindness to me, that my fears were not realized. I was thankful however, knowing My Lord is with me. And that I was blessed to find safety in God's kindness, just as the psalm said thousands of years ago - blessed the man who takes refuge in the Lord. It was true for me. I had a rock to hold onto when the waves came crashing upon me.

As I continued to read the words in the big package, I became overwhelmed with the harsh words, fears of what might be and and got tears in my eyes. My neighbor saw me on the front step as she went to retrieve her mail, and came over to console me. She asked if everything was ok, and I said no. I shared with her the contents - and read some of the things that were said about me. It was so unfair. And I was filled with fear. Sorrow gushed into my soul.

And then the most bizarre thing happened. A pack... or I guess it would be a swarm, of termites flew over my head like a black cloud and began to search for any crack they could find to get into my house. On my front door! I mean there were thousands of them, and it was right over my head. While this might be really creepy to others, to me it was hilarious. I burst out laughing, held my hands up toward the sky as I addressed my sweet God. I asked God a simple question, not angry... but in a Jewish voice, Mel Brooks kind of way:

What - are we getting biblical here?

And just laughed hysterically, I mean what was I supposed to do? My God knows me, He was there when He knit me in my mother's womb, and He knows when I sit, and when I stand. I knew, God knew me... & that He knew, I would find it hilarious. So, I told my neighbor that there will be plenty of time to feel sorrow, but right now I had to go to Lowes hardware, get some chemicals from Elizabeth, New Jersey, and TCB (that's Take care of business to all those unfamiliar with Aretha Franklin's R-E-S-P-E-C-T). So I went to Lowes, and all I could think about was how odd it was, the timing so impeccable, and how I had never seen anything like it before. I was thankful. HA!

At the same time in 2002, I was in the middle of becoming a Catholic, and I was going to the RCIA classes since August. Before this all happened, I began going to daily mass, and always folded my hands to receive a blessing from the priest. Each day during mass, there was part during the mass that was so special to me for some unknown reason.

Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed.

For me, that was my moment in mass when I received God's grace. I also felt blessed by the priest's blessing, but those words cut so deeply inside me, I will never forget power of that one sentence. Years later I learned what Jesus had to say about those words, and felt further blessed.

Well, it was about 10 days later, after I received the divine love swarm of termites, which all perished under the toxic Jersey chemicals I purchased from Lowes that day. Ten days later, I was asked to meet with the priest after mass, who told me I have bad news for you. I wondered what have I done now? Yes, I have done some stupid things in my life, in truth, too many to list, but I was changing fast. Honestly, I was feeling like I was being cleansed of all my sinfulness. Turning from blood red, to beautiful white. I couldn't think of anything I had done, so I wondered what the bad news was. He shared with me, with a very sad face - that I could not become a Catholic with the rest of my RCIA class, because of some issues on my RCIA application. He apologized that he did not see it earlier and was very gentle and loving about it.

For some people, that would have been it. It is over, bye bye Catholicism. But I remembered my special time in mass, when I said those words. That powerful sentence that reassured me, that God was there for me. I told the priest it was ok, I understood, and learned something wonderful about obedience before God, and obedience to the church. I did not know it at the time, but I learned God would make things right, and bless me beyond what words might convey, for being a gentle lamb.

A few weeks later, the same priest again called me into his office after mass. For those two weeks, I was not allowed to receive, or share in this divine food and drink. Furthermore, I was led to believe that I would not be allowed to share bread at the table of God, for a long long, time. People had told me it usually takes years to clear up such things. Again... more fears that would not come to pass. The priest told me, that in my case he was able to apply existing Canonical Law in a way that provided me a loophole of sorts. Hooray, Perry Mason of Canonical Law to the rescue! It is too crazy to share, and somewhat ironic as well - but I remember I was so happy to hear the good news. I would be blessed to eat this divine food and drink, the body and blood of Jesus at Easter. Oh how thankful I was. God is great.

It was during that two week window - when I was not sure if I would ever be allowed to become a Catholic - that I heard the words of Isaiah for the first time. Perhaps I heard them before, but at this time - my heart was ready to actually hear the words. The seeds finally fell on fertile ground. And the words provide great comfort. Just hang in there.

The Lord GOD has given me
a well-trained tongue,
That I might know how to speak to the weary
a word that will rouse them.
Morning after morning
he opens my ear that I may hear;
And I have not rebelled,
have not turned back.
I gave my back to those who beat me,
my cheeks to those who plucked my beard;
My face I did not shield
from buffets and spitting.

The Lord GOD is my help,
therefore I am not disgraced;
I have set my face like flint,
knowing that I shall not be put to shame.
He is near who upholds my right;
if anyone wishes to oppose me,
let us appear together.
Who disputes my right?
Let him confront me.
See, the Lord GOD is my help;
who will prove me wrong?

The words were of course speaking about Jesus, and the suffering He would endure as part of His passion and death. And they are comforting words to anyone in the middle of tough times, especially if you find yourself filled with fears of what might happen. Often times, it is the fear that is the hardest part to bear of a difficult situation, and it is such a blessing to know where to find refuge.

About five years later, I shared this passage from Isaiah with a dear, sweet girl who poured her heart out to me. And she shared her sorrow with total openness, and I hoped my listening was helpful as I tried to assuage her concerns about what others might think or say. For some reason - those words from Isaiah came back to me in a tidal rush, and I hoped and prayed they would bring her comfort in her trials, just as the words comforted me, many years before. I found a Bible and shared them with her. So many times in life, we are able to help each other out, just by listening. And if you find yourself at a loss for words, or what to say - the Bible has many comforting words that will usually say it better than I can.

Here's a song that comes to mind, sung by friends I love like family. The young people singing this song, recorded the track for their Grandmother, who always loved the Guardian Angel Prayer. I share all this, so that you might come to believe, if God is there for this poor crazy man, He most certainly is there for you too. It is my deepest hope that by repeating Isaiah's inspired words, which were said to herald Jesus' coming in the future, that these might bring comfort to the weary, just as they did for me when I was finally ready to listen closely.

Tuesday of Holy Week

Today's readings: April 7, 2009
Reading One: Is 49:1-6;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 71:1-2, 3-4a, 5ab-6ab, 15 and 17 ;
Gospel: Jn 13:21-33, 36-38;
go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

Sometimes, we are the ones responsible for betraying a friendship, a love relationship, and sometimes, betrayal even involves a sacrament like marriage. (I hope that is not you). And all too often it is easy to justify our actions. Perhaps the best way of seeing how our thoughts, words and actions hurt others - is to remember the times we were on the receiving end... when you felt betrayed by someone you love. For the one who feels betrayed, it is easy to see how the other party is acting unjustly.

So - just recall, for a moment, a time when you were on the receiving end of betrayal. For most of us, this does not, thankfully involve actual death - but suffering from the betrayal of broken friendships, and broken hearts occurs far too frequently. Why is that? Mostly I think because people choose to follow our own path, in lieu of following Jesus. As folks begin to walk their own path, the soul tries to justify itself, and hides from their guilt and shame. Especially if they are strident in their belief, that they have to "do their own thing", and are confident they are making the right choice of doing it My Way.

When we become confident of our own opinion, it blinds us to our deep feelings of guilt, and we tell ourselves, we do not feel badly at all. Oddly enough, the guilt exists, but very often - the betraying party is so caught up in their way, and their opinion - they are oblivious to how terrible they feel inside. There is a wonderful psalm, #36 that speaks to this - I don't feel guilty about anything that I am doing, and how it not only hurts others, it hurts yourself! At times like these, we play tricks on ourselves, and can become unaware of how badly we really feel, deep inside the heart. All too often, the sinfulness of broken love spins out of control, and hurts innocent bystanders, shared friends, children and families. So, meditate on a few passages from psalm 36 a moment.

Sin speaks to the sinner
in the depths of his heart
there is no fear of God
before his eyes.

He so flatters himself in his mind
that he knows not his guilt.
In his mouth are mischief and deceit
All wisdom is gone.

He plots the defeat of goodness
as he lies on his bed.
He has set his foot on evil ways,
he clings to what is evil.

Now - think about those relationship where you can see how true these words are - when you were the one being betrayed. It is easy to see the behavior in others. Here's the hard part - reverse the roles, and think of those relationships where you decided to end a relationship with someone you once cared for - whether it is a friend or a closer relationship.

It is now Holy Week - and it is time to mend fences. If you find yourself where you just don't care about someone anymore - get your act together and remember Jesus told us to love each. Even our enemies. But we are also called to love our friends, and those we no longer count as a friend. All too often - stuff ends up this way, because we feel guilty, over time anyway - and we can angry at others, because we don't enjoy feeling that way. Rise up out of the mire and reconcile. Ask Jesus for help - His hand is outstretched to help.

And - if you feel betrayed, know that you have a share of the blame for the relationship in need of repair. And offer mercy to the one who betrayed you. Love them anyway, even if there is a burden of sorrow that comes with it. This is what Jesus did for all of us. Follow Him - and get off the path called My Way. Follow Jesus.

The best way to lose your sorrow - is to heed the advice of the psalm in today's psalm reading and find refuge in God. And be merciful to those who hurt you.

For you are my hope, O Lord;
my trust, O God, from my youth.
On you I depend from birth;
from my mother's womb you are my strength.
R. I will sing of your salvation.

As I get close to the end of my Lenten Journey, I have to chuckle at myself on how the road has taken me from what I thought I going to do (travel a lot on the road), to what has actually happened over the course of the last several weeks. In truth, my Lenten Journey has covered a massive expanse of miles, but these miles were not made of asphalt and concrete and trips to the wilderness. The road has been much more of a journey inward, to a part of soul that I was led to. Very deep inside. This part of my soul has a profound yearning to draw closer to God, even if that means I have to die to get there, or get refined in a blazing fire. My faith in God, and my trust in God has grown. I had the courage to share many stories I bottled up inside, about how wonderful God has been to me. My journey has been following where I thought God was leading me. I honestly have tried to follow Jesus, wherever He led me. While it might appear that I lost my way, in truth - I hope I did lose My Way. I want to follow Jesus, not My Way. Here's a terrific song, written by a good friend named Lenny called Soul Searching. As Easter gets closer - I wanna be ready, just like the song says. The song was recorded at the studio where I work, and my buddy Frank was engineer and producer.

Monday of Holy Week

Today's readings: April 6, 2009
Reading One: Is 42:1-7;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 27:1, 2, 3, 13-14 ;
Gospel: Jn 12:1-11;
go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

When people are about to do things they are ashamed of, like how Judas yells at Mary, Lazarus' sister because she is putting perfumed nard on Jesus' hair and washing his feet, Judas yells at her saying that this money could have been saved for the poor. But today we learn of his real motivation - Judas was dipping in the money bag and getting stuff for himself. Often times, when we are so angry at others, we are really angry with ourselves.

Yet we all make mistakes - as we are all sinners. The important thing is to look at our response to our foolishness - how we react to our own sinfulness. Peter denied Jesus three times, and felt so terrible, he wept. In Peter's weakness - God gave Peter great strength. Read the Acts of the Apostles after Easter and see how Peter is totally different man. He won't deny who Jesus is, and furthermore - you will see how Peter becomes a man of great courage, as God gave him the strength to become brave. Contrast the reaction of Judas to his sinfulness. He falls into despair, because he cannot allow himself to reach out to God in his moment of darkness. Judas does not turn to God asking for mercy - he wallows in his despair and ultimately, takes his own life. Judas refuses to acknowledge God's greatness and has no understanding of God's mercy. Perhaps the saddest part about Judas, is that he might have become a great saint - if only he trusted more in God than his own opinion.

Friday - Fifth Week of Lent

Today's readings: April 3, 2009
Reading One: Jer 20:10-13;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 18:2-3a, 3bc-4, 5-6, 7 ;
Gospel: Jn 10:31-42;
go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

The volume gets louder and louder, like the thumpedy thump of a motorcycle engine with loud pipes as Jesus gets closer and closer to His day, that horrible day when He will die for all of our sins. How is it that some wish to put Him to death, and slander His Holy name, a name above all others - while countless other people will praise Him throughout the end of days. I regret my Lord, there were days when I didn't understand and was counted on the wrong side of this endless equation. But as I read the psalm today I recalled the day you saved me from death. And it wasn't the first time either. My prayer of sorrow and thankfulness came before you, and you heard me, and rescued me. And then, You held my hand, and You healed me.

The breakers of death surged round about me,
the destroying floods overwhelmed me;
The cords of the nether world enmeshed me,
the snares of death overtook me.
R. In my distress I called upon the Lord, and he heard my voice.
In my distress I called upon the LORD
and cried out to my God;
From his temple he heard my voice,
and my cry to him reached his ears.
R. In my distress I called upon the Lord, and he heard my voice.

Mt dear sweet Lord, you rescued me on December 10th, 2007 when I was riding my motorcycle home from work, getting off a little early to avoid the cold weather that comes as it gets dark in Decemeber. At the time, my heart was sad, but thanks to your love and comfort I was ok, just doing fine. No worries. While driving home on a 45 mile an hour two lane highway called Mt Holly-Huntersville road, a car pulled out from a side street on my right, to make a left turn. Darn, my pipes were not Vance and Hines Screaming Eagles, so he didn't hear me or see me for that matter (must have pushed the stealth button by accident I guess). Anyway, he pulled out to make a left turn right in my path. There was no time to react, I just tried to slow down, by braking and laying the bike down, I think that is what happened. I couldn't remember a thing. However, I do remember being thankful that I was not allowed to finish my sentence which began - What the... SLAM. I have no idea when the ambulance arrived or how long I was laying in the road, looking quite dead. My windshield, a GE Lexane piece of plastic was sliced in half, my front end bent like a paper clip. The bike was totaled. And so was I. When I regained consciousness in the ambulance, I remember my first thoughts. In a blurry empty place.

Oh my Lord, was this what it felt like? I am so sorry to have contributed, even in the smallest way. Forgive me, and remember me in Your Kingdom.

It was still blurry ... but I remember saying those words to myself. And then the blurriness receded, and I saw I was in an ambulance. The medics were talking about something, and I wanted to make sure I was still alive - so I asked them a question.

Does everyone still hate George Bush?

They paused, looked at each other, then let out a nervous chuckle, Yeah, everyone still hates George Bush. I was alive, still in the Earthly realm I thought to myself. And I thanked God for such a funny joke. I can be funny sometimes, but that was too good a joke for me. HA!

I was taken to a hospital - Oh NO! the same hospital where my buddy Frank was nearly killed by the treatment he received. All I wanted to do was get out of there, as soon as possible. Against my will, they performed a bunch of MRIs, and finally after much pleading, they put some drops in my right eye, which deadened the pain. I was also given a pain killer to ease the hurt of a crushed skull around my nose and right eye, and a few broken ribs, and a bunch of road scrapage from sliding before I hit the car. I still have a big indent in my right hip that looks like someone took an ice cream scoop into my leg 16 months later. Why this hospital I wondered - get me outta here! I sat in a hallway as they looked and looked through possible insurance carriers, to see if this poor slob had insurance that would cover the expenses, which were being charged for every second I was in their care. I was there for a few hours, and I would receive bills that would total over 10,000 bucks from the hospital, and the $700+ ride to the place where some very high dollar folks, were ummm ... looking out for me. Wow, that is the most expensive hallway I was ever in. And I have no intention of ever going back to that over-priced restaurant again. I never even got any food.

The next morning, I went to 7:00 am mass, looking a little nasty as Monsignor asked me politely if I would please wear sunglasses the next time I came to mass. It was hard getting out of bed, but after rocking back and forth a few times, I got the momentum to help myself out of bed. Mass was especially wonderful, as I knew the healing process had begun. How blessed I felt to know the feast day of St Lucy, patron saint of eyes was just a few days away. I would pray to her help because my eye felt like it was sliced in a million pieces.

I went to an eye doctor to have him look at it. He was a wonderful guy, and did a great job. Thank you, Dr. Spicola - my surfer dude eye guy from Ridgemont High. He explained to me, that the covering layer of the membrane on my eye was sliced into countless little pieces. HA! And he gave me a prescription for a bunch of different kinds of eye drops and told me I would probably need eye surgery. Nah, St. Lucy was hard at work with her sewing needle.

One day, a month or two later on follow-up visits to his office, I was asked by the receptionist to provide some answers to her questions. I told her I was in a motorcycle accident in early December. Her eyes got big... When? December 10th. Oh no, where? Mt Holly-Huntersville Rd I told her. She said, oh my God, I saw YOU lying in the road as I was going home. I was certain you were dead, and you were the first dead person I ever saw! I replied, well I hate to disappoint you! ahahaha. And I once again felt compelled to thank God for such a great comeback line. You see, I am not that funny, at least my kids tell me that all the time.

The truth is, the recovery felt like a sewing needle bobbing in and out of my eye. I imagined St. Lucy hard at work and prayed for comfort with all my strength. I would be fine, God willing. Thank you my Lord for saving... is all I can say.

Let me close again with a few tunes. This one, Funky Motorcycle was written in 1994 or 1995 and recorded in my garage. My buddy Frank is engineer and came up with the wicked bass line. I didn't have a bike at the time, never even rode on on the road yet for that matter. Kinda ironic, huh? It is about how hard it is to understand women. One day they are sweet, the next day they are like a cornered badger. Don't get me wrong, I think women are the greatest thing since sliced bread, well better than sliced bread - you know what I mean. But let's face it, women are hard to understand sometimes, for us men especially.

This next song is a song I wrote when Frank was in the hospital, called Sweet Raphael. When I sing it, and really mean it as a solemn prayer - I can't sing it without sobbing. Inexplicable groaning. Wailing like a woman in labor. I have sung this song so many times, with many many different names of friends I know who are sick, and in need of comfort and healing that can only come from God. I am helpless. But I can't just do that when a microphone is shoved in my face. But please know, I have song this song for Doug, Richard, Andy, Louise, Florence, Debbie, Vivian, Christine, Charlotte, Morgan, Peter, Pat, Rodrigo, Tom, Jennie, Kathy, Kate, Dave, Phoebe, Amy, and ad infinitum... the list is too long. I love you all so much. And yes, I have sung the song for myself, a sinner and a man in need of healing.

Thursday - Fifth Week of Lent

Today's readings: April 2, 2009
Reading One: Gn 17:3-9;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 105:4-5, 6-7, 8-9 ;
Gospel: Jn 8:51-59;
go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

Today gets us closer toward the final days before we begin Holy Week. During Holy Week, we are asked to take the journey to the next level and really focus on what changes we need to make in ourselves, to make us more pleasing in God's sight. The video reflections for today were very helpful for me. More time for prayer, more time works of charity, more time for drawing deeper and deeper into a loving relationship with God, and with all His children.

I find it hard to make any comments on today's readings. For some time, I have been sitting in front of my computer... with this... I got nothing feeling. I prayed about it, and I keep getting back to this same story, feeling like I am supposed to share it. So, the experience relates to the power of prayer, which is something, everyone could do more of, especially as we approach Holy Week. A few days ago, I mentioned a wonderful experience that happened on Dec. 3, the feast day of St. Francis Xavier. Now at the time this happened, I was not really in tune with this day being St. Francis Xavier's feast day, but when the day came around each year, I remembered what happened, and as such I made note of it. Many years later, a good friend who was a former student in a confirmation class (the one that called itself Azariah's prayer, from yesterday's post), wanted to go to Xavier. In truth, he is much more than a good friend to me, in a lot of ways, I like to think of him as a son I never had, because we have spent a lot of time together and he was been very helpful to me when I needed an extra set of strong hands. Yes, I love him. A Great kid. So, I found myself on November 13 last year praying before mass, and I realized I had not spent much, if any! time praying that he would, God willing, get into the college he wanted to go to. I felt badly for this, but I had gotten caught up in all kinds of daily pressures, as we all fall prey to from time to time. I came to this realization because it was the feast day of St Frances Xavier Cabrini, a.k.a Mother Cabrini who founded a ton of hospitals, schools and orphanages. So I said a prayer, it was really short, having just started to pray about it. Honestly, I think was no more that 25 words into the prayer - asking Mother Cabrini to please tug on St Francis Xavier's sleeve and ask him to help my buddy in his desire to go to Xavier. Then _BAM, a remarkable thing happened. I felt I got an answer, in that little voice that comes out of nowhere. It said - He's in, and he will get the news today. OK, Awesome! So, after mass I called his house and shared the prayer moment with his mom. It was right after mass about 8:00 am. Guess what - in that days mail, November 13th, he got the acceptance letter. BAM!

Rest assured, it has nothing to do with me, at the time I felt like I was so little, just a spec of dust is how I felt about myself in terms of being important. I also felt very blessed by God. Just be little, as young St. Theresa of Lisieux, the little flower liked to say. I was reading several books by another Teresa, St. Teresa of Avila, who offers amazing insights into prayers, and she said it much better than I ever could. She is the first female doctor of the Catholic church. Something like, the more humble you feel about yourself, the more powerful your prayers, since they are welcomed, just as a parent would listen more eagerly to a gentle, humble child than a brazen child who is noisy and prideful. It makes sense if you think about it. Be tiny. The least is the greatest.

The truth of the matter is, that when you share experiences like this with others, you are very likely to get responses that are quick to jump on you for NOT being humble. hahaha. There is an irony there, huh. Responses like - Who do you think you are, you are so arrogant, you are so annoying, shut up with your prayer stuff, you are supposed to pray alone in your room. It is easy to parse the bible in a way to attack, it happens every day. It took me a while, but I learned this too was a blessing. Because oddly enough, it'll keep you humble, when people tell you to just be quiet, get lost, shut up, especially if all you are trying to do is tell them how great God is, and only want to share something wonderful you feel, in hopes that they might seek the wonderful feeling, that God so freely gives, to His children who only want to love Him with everything they have to offer.

Anyway... time for me to stop for today. phew... I got something posted for today, when all I had to begin with, was nothing. ahhaha. Since St. Francis Xavier was a Jesuit, which was founded by St. Ignatius of Loyola - here's a prayer song of St. Ignatius' prayer - Dedication to Jesus.

Tueday - Fifth Week of Lent

Today's readings: March 31, 2009
Reading One: Nm 21:4-9;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 102:2-3, 16-18, 19-21 ;
Gospel: Jn 8:21-30;
go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

Added some new pictures. Beauty every spring. God is great!

As Jesus gets closer and closer to the final leg of His journey on Earth as a man, he does His best to help people understand that He really is - the Son of God. For those who like books, and in this case, those people who were (and are) well versed in the old testament and Moses, he shares a parallel story of how Moses made a seraph serpent mounted on a pole to cure the Israelites who were bitten by the poisonous snakes, and how, likewise Jesus would be mounted on a cross. Unlike the old testament however - where all you had to do was look at it and you were cured, in the New Testament - you would have to believe, only your faith would save you, as it seems looking at Jesus on the cross would not be enough. His words are very cryptic if you are unfamiliar with the story of Moses as told in Numbers, but upon some reflection it is not rocket science to see the parallel. In John chapter 3, Jesus also mentions the story of Moses and the seraph serpent mounted on a pole to Nicodemus (verse 14, but read the whole chapter for context). It is fascinating to me - how so many people know the words of John 3:16, but have never heard of the story of Moses and the seraph serpent mounted on a pole, even though it is just two sentences preceding, and again mentioned in John Chapter 8 in today's reading. You can see one thing, but totally miss another clue as to how Jesus very clearly explains who He is, and why He came. As He explained before, Jesus said it would be harder for wise people to understand - for the simple, it was easy since they would believe without the need for intellectual consideration. But Jesus reaches out to the brainiacs, out of love and a hope that they might also come to believe. Certainly... to try to reverse engineer this whole story is beyond any logical assumptions of human nature and how people are. It is statistically implausible frankly.

Another message in today's reading comes from psalm 102, which tells how God is so close to the brokenhearted.

When he has regarded the prayer of the destitute,
and not despised their prayer.
R. O Lord, hear my prayer, and let my cry come to you.
Let this be written for the generation to come,
and let his future creatures praise the LORD:
"The LORD looked down from his holy height,
from heaven he beheld the earth,
To hear the groaning of the prisoners,
to release those doomed to die."
R. O Lord, hear my prayer, and let my cry come to you.

It is very comforting to know He is so available to those who hurt, those who weep, to those who have exhausted their own means to save themselves, and come to God crying out for help.

For the past few days, I have shared a personal story of how God has made Himself present in my life. I know things like this happen to many others, so please rest assured I do not think of myself as anything special, just one of many children. He loves us all.

This story occurred on Dec 3 - the feast day of St. Francis Xavier and happened during mass. During the consecration, the moment during mass where the priest invokes an ancient prayer, and asks in all humility for the Lord Jesus to make Himself present in the Eucharist. The Eucharist is the bread and wine, which becomes the Body and Blood of Christ during consecration. The word Eucharist - means thanks, and indeed we have so much to be thankful for such a kind, gentle and generous God. On Dec 3, I think the year was 2004 - a older friend of mine passed out and hit her head on the wooden kneeler in the small chapel where we celebrate mass. She was an older woman and she hit her head very hard. The priest, being obedient to what he must do continued the prayers as Terri and I went to her aid. Terri is a nurse and was taking her pulse, which was not registering at the moment as she shook her head and mouthed - nothing. Overwhelmed with the grief mentioned in today's psalm, I said a short prayer for my friend, and asked God, in a feeling of total helplessness - if it was His will, please let my friend spend Christmas with her family, but whatever Your will is Lord, let it be done. I felt something, similar to electricity, but nothing like a shock - it was some kind of power that came from outside me and nothing to do with me, but I felt it as sure as the sun comes up every morning and I feel the warmth on a summer day. My friend opened her eyes, and was back again. As I looked at her, I saw my dear Grandmother's face in her face. I was startled as I was not thinking about my Grandmother, it just happened. Later, when I went to work, I called my Grandmother to say hello as it had been several weeks since I had spoken with her. She was 102 at the time and a nurse answered the phone, and told me that my Grandmother was asking for me, hoping I would call. but she did not call me because she was concerned she might be bothering me at work. (ouch... did I put out this vibe - that I was too busy to speak with her, if so, I am terribly sorry for such a huge offense). I spoke with her for about 45 minutes and we each delighted in how deeply we loved each other. It was a wonderful call and I will never forget the kindness and love we shared. A few hours later, my Grandmother passed, and I felt so blessed to have been offered the chance to tell her one more time, how profoundly I loved her.

For her 100th birthday, my dear friend Frank - the guy in the post two days ago helped me make this video to honor such a wonderful lady. I was aided by everyone in my family, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews who provided pictures and stories, but mostly love. To better understand how much I loved my Gramma, watch the video below. But more important - talk to your family today - and tell them how much you love them. And thank God for your children, your parents and your grandparents while you are at it. Most important, tell God you love Him too - love Him with all your heart, all your mind, all your soul and all your strength.

Thurday - Fourth Week of Lent

Today's readings: March 26, 2009
Reading One: Ex 32:7-14;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 106:19-20, 21-22, 23 ;
Gospel: Jn 5:31-47;
go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

It all depends on how you read, or how your heart listens to the words in today's Gospel. It is easy to read the words in a way that comes off as harsh words, words condemning the listener, perhaps a little angry or really angry. Or maybe just upset, like a parent who is upset with a stubborn child and scolding it before sending the insolent child to their room. But maybe the words are offered in a different tone. I do not know, but I imagine Jesus saying these words - reaching out in a soft tone, trying to merely inform people He loves them dearly, what the truth is. He really is the Son of God. He is only trying to help you understand so that you might believe something that is true. Follow the dots - John the Baptist testified Jesus as the Christ. God himself testified, but you did not listen. And so does Moses, yes even the words in the old testament point to Jesus.

Jesus does not have to glorify himself. He is going to take all the miracles He performed, and the people He healed, and all His perfect words, and because we are so stubborn, and His love is so great - He will show us one more time, once and for all, and for all time, show us how much God loves each and every one of us. And if you blessed to see that, you are called to see everyone that way as well.

When we do this - we will finally be following Jesus' simple command - all the law we need to understand, and follow:

is to love God with all your heart, all your mind, all your soul and all your strength.

If we do that, we also will love our neighbor in a new way. Love them as God loves each and every one of us struggling creatures. Perfectly, without fear, pouring out like a fountain.

The blessings that come from following the law are untold treasures, beyond what words might convey. Imagine for just a moment - the love that dwells within God, endless, infinite, boundless love pouring out of your heart in galactic proportions. Love that can only come from God it is so good. Even in the darkest hours of the human condition - sickness, broken hearts, shattered dreams, and wounded souls - there's no room for despair to even get a foothold. That love burns it up and everything dark, is made light.

Tuesday - Fourth Week of Lent

Today's readings: March 24, 2009
Reading One: Ez 47:1-9, 12;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 46:2-3, 5-6, 8-9 ;
Gospel: Jn 5:1-16;
go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

John's writing about Jesus in his Gospel is much different than the other three (Matthew, Mark & Luke, duh). John was different - he was the disciple Jesus loved, the only one we believe was not martyred for his faith, the only one at the foot of the cross, and Jesus tells John that Mary is his mother (and vica versa) while he is on the cross. For John, Jesus' divine origins are never in doubt. He tries to spell it out all mathematically, logically - like breadcrumbs, just follow the trail and stop being so hard in the head and heart. Over the past few days, we are given 3 signs that show that Jesus is all that He says He is. The first sign, was at the wedding at Cana, when Jesus turned the water into wine upon's Mary's request, and also her display of total faith (Do as He says), see John Chapter 2). The second sign was yesterday's reading, about the Royal Official and his sick son in Chapter Four. And today is the third sign, Jesus healing the blind paralytic in Chapter Five. I mean, the signs are not everyday happenings. And what is so amazing, is that big wigs in power don't deny these things happened. Their problem is that Jesus did this on the Sabbath (I am laughing as I think of Walter on The Big Lebowski, and his bowling tournament conflicts, but I digress). Anyway, it is a good practice to understand how John's Gospel is different, and why and to contemplate that as you read his words about Jesus.

Today we stopped at verse 16 in chapter five, but the next 28 verses are important, as Jesus explains how God the Father testifies to the divinity of Jesus, and that He is God's son. Same thing with John, there's never any question about this, Jesus being the Christ - John is just trying to get the exact words of what he heard Jesus says about it.

Also of note about today's Gospel, it continues the whole theme of joy that began on Sunday with laetare sunday. Laetare comes from the words often used to commence a mass - Laetare, Jerusalem - which roughly translates Rejoice, O Jerusalem. It also marks the halfway point in Lent. And indeed, there is so much to be joyful about if you have faith in God. With faith, you have extra resolve and hope, even in hopeless situations - because with God anything is possible, and if you place your trust in God, you are covered. He sets you free, He gives you strength and courage, and as you grow closer in love with Him, He loves you even more, or perhaps - He still loves you the same, you just are more aware of it. Either way, it is a wonderful feeling. So be joyful. And I hope you enjoy John's Gospel - his faith is contagious.

Sunday - Fourth Week of Lent

Today's readings: March 22, 2009
Reading One: 2 Chr 36:14-16, 19-23 ;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 137:1-2, 3, 4-5, 6 ;
Second Reading: Eph 2:4-10 ;
Gospel: Jn 3:14-21 ; go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

If you watch sports on TV, you will often see a fan holding up a sign the reads John 3:16, and we get that chapter and verse in today's Gospel. What is interesting, is that most folks have no idea what is mentioned in John 3:14, where Jesus mentions the story of Moses and the seraph serpents. Seraph refers to a type of poisonous snake, and has nothing to do with angels. Back in the days of roaming around and waiting for the promised land, the people of Israel were getting bitten by these poisonous snakes and dying. So Moses asked God for help, and God told Moses to build a bronze seraph serpent, mount it on a pole, and if anyone looked at it after being bitten by the poisonous snakes, they would not die. If you want to read the story Jesus is referring to in John 3:14, you can find it in Numbers, Chapter 21. And as you probably guessed, Jesus was pointing to how he would suffer a death on the cross.

One more comment about today's readings - I always liked John 3:16-17, because this is where Jesus tells us the answer to the all important question - why? God did all this, because He loves us.

Friday - Third Week of Lent

Today's readings: March 20, 2009
Reading One: Hos 14:2-10;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 81:6c-8a, 8bc-9, 10-11ab, 14 and 17 ;
Gospel: Mk 12:28-34; go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

Not many folks really know or understand the story of the prophet Hosea. But for me, because of what has transpired in the course of my life - I know it all too well. I am not boasting, I know it from life's hard lessons, from reading it many times, but mostly from understanding the sorrow of Hosea's heart. That is a sorrow I know since the sorrow is etched into my heart with countless tears. More than once, more than twice, the tears have left grooves one can trace with your fingers. Hosea is a prophet who tells the people of Israel that they have strayed from their God, and that they are so consumed in their wicked ways, that they have no guilt, they actually think what they are doing is just fine and dandy, and that their actions are not even sinful. And so, as you might imagine, the people of Israel hold Hosea in low esteem.

Hosea is a married man, but his marriage, like the relationship of Israel to their God is in shambles. Hosea's wife Gomer has left him to go chase after some flashy man who gives her sparkly jewelry and party all the time. As far as Gomer is concerned, Hosea is just an old man, and dead weight to her. She wants to be free and shake her booty and do her own thing. Too bad for Hosea, who is a nice guy - and just as Julius Caesar said, they finish last. Hosea's situation is used to help the Israelites better understand how they have strayed from their relationship with God. By doing their own thing, writing their own moral codes, and not feeling the least bit guilty about it. But in this very paternal society - they can understand how Hosea is getting a raw deal from Gomer. But they do not understand why Hosea is taking all this grief from this woman who dances to her own drummer with other men. Why? Hosea still loves Gomer. The story is a good way to understand how God must feel when we decide to just do our thing, and take no notice that our actions are hurting many of people closest to us. The people we love. Welcome to understanding the true nature of sin. When you get wise to how the game is played - usually because of some time and many tears, you understand how sin destroys the ones we love the most. And still, even through all this - God still loves you.

Hosea is a very interesting character. He has a bit of temper, and also the ability to say things that cut to the core. Kind of like Jeremiah in that respect. But Hosea is also very tender and remarkable in his sweetness. His emotions can turn from scary to kind & gentle in an instant. Chapter 11 is my favorite part of the story, which begins:

When Israel was a child I loved him, out of Egypt I called my son.
The more I called them, the farther they went from me,
Sacrificing to the Baals and burning incense to idols.
Yet it was I who taught Ephraim to walk,
who took them in my arms;
I drew them with human cords, with bands of love;
I fostered them like one who raises an infant to his cheeks;
Yet, though I stooped to feed my child,
they did not know that I was their healer.

FYI - The Baals are a reference to a nasty Egyptian God who was all about kinky sex, free love, anything goes, and matters of the flesh. Not that we have those issues in our present society. haha sorry, if you think we are a pure and sweet culture folks, just watch some of the teenage kid channels at night. The tone has gotten so nasty and cruel it is morally repugnant to anyone who still wishes to have a sweet heart.

Thank God for Jesus Christ and the Gospel he gave us, at such a high cost we might better understand how important it is. He lights the way with simple words that are easy to understand.

Hear, O Israel!
The Lord our God is Lord alone!
You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart,
with all your soul,
with all your mind,
and with all your strength.
The second is this:
You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

If you really understand this, and try to do what He asks, you will live a new life life, be a new person. Beautiful in God's sight. If you really work at these two simple commands, sin will get squeezed out. Better still, you will find a gift waiting for you as you walk down this road, just as Jesus promised.

The scribe said to him, "Well said, teacher.
You are right in saying,
He is One and there is no other than he.
And to love him with all your heart,
with all your understanding,
with all your strength,
and to love your neighbor as yourself
is worth more than all burnt offerings and sacrifices."
And when Jesus saw that he answered with understanding,
he said to him,
"You are not far from the Kingdom of God."
And no one dared to ask him any more questions.

Tonight I am blessed to make a big batch of meatless soup, and serve my friends & neighbors at church. This will be followed by a Living Stations of the Cross presentation (people in fixed dramatic poses, as opposed to reflecting on artwork of the important moments as Jesus walked with grace and dignity to his death on a cross). For many reasons, this will be a powerful evening, and I hope as I walk on my Lenten Journey, I find myself in a place ready to endure sorrowful times, and staying focused on faith and hope, believing in the joyful promise, with all my heart, mind, soul and strength - not far from the Kingdom of God. Please pray for Peter, Charlotte, Charlie & Roz, Tim, Jim, Richard, Doug, Amelia, Mishka, Jenny, Louise, Florence, Slugger's family, my 6th graders, Terry, Kate & Hope, and if time allows, please pray for me. Thanks.

Wednesday - Third Week of Lent

Today's readings: March 18, 2009
Reading One: Dt 4:1, 5-9;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 147:12-13, 15-16, 19-20 ;
Gospel: Mt 5:17-19; go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

In today's world, sometimes it feels like there are about a hundred million versions of the Gospel. But they all begin with, The Gospel according to me. haha. I remember on my way through Georgia last week, I saw a bumper sticker that read - Jesus is a liberal. But somehow, I do not think he would be very charitable toward abortions or stem cell research. But what do I know... in the Gospel according to me. The good news for Catholics, is that the church goes through a lot of effort to try and come up with cohesive policy decisions on current matters of controversy, like abortion, stem cell research, pre-marital sex - you know, all the topics that people have a hard time talking about, even among friends. If you think about that, we the people - can't even discuss a lot of these topics with any semblance of civil discourse. As I reflect upon that, it says a lot about our society, and also reminds me of Monday's Gospel reading, where Jesus said some things that made the people want to throw him over the cliff to his death. They wanted to kill this wonderful, gentle man - because he got them upset, and said something truthful using their own sacred writings. Human nature is quite extraordinary. If you examine the readings from the last few days, from Sunday through Wednesday - you will notice a pattern, and see how the readings tie together. It explains a lot about why people get so angry, and how we twist Jesus' words and manipulate them to our own liking. There is a lot to consider over the past few days. Hard words to listen to, and harder still if you point the words toward yourself, and see where Jesus is shining a bright light on where you could improve yourself.

Tuesday - Third Week of Lent

Today's readings: March 17, 2009
Reading One: Dn 3:25, 34-43;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 25:4-5ab, 6 and 7bc, 8-9 ;
Gospel: Mt 18:21-35; go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

Today is a good day to contemplate forgiveness and mercy. Well, actually - every day is a good day for this, but why not actually do soething about this today. When folks get under our skin, or do something to us where we feel wronged, we are given a choice. We can either be mad at them, and hold onto this anger - or we can do what it takes to forgive them, in spite of what transpired. If you are blessed with the wisdom that comes from getting older, and learn life's lessons along the way, you will probably gain a good understanding that being angry and spiteful toward someone who did you wrong, is very much like a gun that shoots bullets in two directions. One toward the enemy, or the offending party, and unfortunately - the other bullet aims straight for your own heart. Yes, you actually shoot yourself - but not in the foot, the bullet goes straight for your own heart.

Or perhaps you find yourself on the other side of this equation - where you did something that offends another person, and a good friend won't forgive you. For your own well being, the answer again lies in forgiveness and mercy. Do you really want to return the animus pointed in your direction? I hope not. Forgive them, and know you really are sorry for what you did that offended them, and go further and forgive them for deciding to undermine the friendship you value. So many times in life, you will see that the anger and animus of righteous indignation gets passed along, to someone other than the person you are mad at in the first place. I remember an interesting story about this from Bishop Fulton Sheen. He compared this phenomenon to a line of people, where the first person slaps the second person. And then, for no good reason, or perhaps maybe there was a reason - the second person slaps the third person in line, and then the third person slaps the fourth person. This chain of anger will continue on down the line, until someone just stops the madness. They get slapped, and forgive. They really don't want to slap anyone else. Guess what - you can be that person.

Why don't you try and be that person today. Perhaps you have a friend that you at odds with, or perhaps a neighbor who you are annoyed with for making your dog crazy. Whatever it is - STOP being annoyed, and actually do something to repair the relationship. Step out of your box of anger, and rise above the madness that slaps back or worse - teaches your beautiful children to share the animus you feel toward your friend or neighbor. The anger you feel inside is a prison of your own making. You do have a choice. Choose to be a person who forgives and doesn't choose to hold onto the anger. Even if you have to forgive 77,000 times - the price of lugging around the animus, will not only weigh you down, it can even make you sick or kill you. And there's no time like now to make that choice. Put the key into the lock of your prison door, and let yourself be free. Trust Jesus on this - He knows what He is talking about. Forgive and you will be forgiven too. By the way, it feels great when you make this choice. But it your choice, stay angry if that is the path you want walk on. If you think about it however, you will what is best for you. Anger and animus - or forgiveness and freedom from the stress of hate. This isn't really rocket science here folks. Go with the choice that makes your burden light, or fill up your soul with a bunch of heavy rocks.

Monday - Third Week of Lent

Today's readings: March 16, 2009
Reading One: 2 Kgs 5:1-15ab;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 42:2, 3; 43:3, 4 ;
Gospel: Lk 4:24-30; go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

The one who is the greatest - is the one who is the least, a slave. I think the message for today is all about humility. Namaan was a great man, who contracted leprosy - and he heard from the slave girl about a great prophet who might be able to heal him. His heart was ready - but when Elijah told him to do something simple, he balked at the remedy, until a simple slave set him straight. Likewise, the folks in the Gospel reading thought Jesus was great, but when he told them some stories from the Old Testament, stories they knew and believed, they turned on Jesus in anger because the stories made them feel like they were no longer the chosen people of God. They lost their humility.

On Tuesday evenings, I teach an amazing group of 6th graders, but in truth - it is always these kids who teach me. They teach me what innocence is, they teach me about having a pure heart, they teach about so many things it is not possible for me to write them all down. Thank you to all my sweet kids in 6th grade religious education, who instruct the teacher.

Last week I shared with them a way to help understand humility, and how God fills us with His strength when we are weak. How in weakness, we become strong, because we are filled with God's strength. I did not make up this demonstration, I do not know who did, but I will pass it on. I went over to the sink and filled up a coffee carafe with water. I said to them, this water represents God's life giving water. The I took a balloon and said this represents our pride, how full of ourselves we might be, or as the expression goes - having a big head. I put the balloon in the carafe filled with water and blew it up. The air, hot air no doubt - displaced the God's life giving water and it spilled out over the sides and into the sink. I explained, when we have a big head, there's no room for God's life giving water. But when we are humble, the life giving water can fill up our souls. I let the water out of the balloon and filled up the carafe. I am not sure if they really understood the lesson that night, but I prayed that they might one day when they need it most. And I have faith that my prayer was heard, and hope that God in his kindness, will help them out when they get too full of themselves, and that this simple lesson might serve them well, giving them the real strength that only comes from God. At the times they will need it most. And also, that they will learn to stay humble, like they are now as children, so that they will always be filled with God's strength, which is so much more than a bunch of hot air. Please pray for me - I need to learn this lesson every day, and to apply it every day. Because at some time during the day, I screw up and start blowing up the balloon.

Sunday - Third Week of Lent

Today's readings: March 15, 2009
Reading One:
Ex 20:1-17 or 20:1-3, 7-8, 12-17 ;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 19:8, 9, 10, 11 ;
Second Reading: 1 Cor 1:22-25 ;
Gospel: Jn 2:13-25 ; go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

I found an old book with reflections for Lent on the shelf today and picked it up for some reason after it sat on the shelf for 6 years unopened,since Lent 2003. Why, I have no idea. And I found the day that corresponded to today's readings that offered some thoughts from a priest named Father Richard Veras. He shared that for many people, Jesus is the nicest, sweetest, and kindest person we could ever imagine - and how we can begin to follow a figment of our imagination regarding who Jesus is and what he is about. We become like a little kid who dreams about finding Mr/Mrs Right and how our dreams are limited by our imagination, as opposed to what is actually the truth. The Jesus of our imagination can be malleable, and we can fall into the trap of manipulating this dreamy Jesus to rationalize every sin and leave unchallenged every attitude and behavior.

In today's reading, Jesus refuses to stay in the box of our imagined world. He breaks out of our imagined world and shows himself to be very real, and honestly it is kind of scary too. His disciples are also very confused.

But Jesus does not trust Himself to men because He understands our human nature all too well. He knows how we manipulate the truth and explain away things or situations that make us uneasy. So, what are supposed to do?

He asks us to trust not in ourselves or the imagined Jesus, the one we can put into a box with our limits - but to the Jesus that is beyond our understanding. The Jesus that is very real. The Jesus He really is. Our minds can actually make Him something less than He is if we fall into this trap. His Love is very much like a fire that can refine and purify but that will not be an easy or pleasant process a lot of the time. I spoke with a friend yesterday who told me she once prayed over and over again for patience. And in the course of the next year - so many difficult things happened where she learned to be patient because she had no choice. I laughed because I remembered similar experiences relating to prayer. And I said - you know what is funny, it didn't, in my own experience, have to be so hard, but my stubborn nature made it so. I actually did have a choice, I just needed to trust in Him, and not my imagined Jesus.

There's a good book on this subject that is called Your God is Too Small. Check it out for the first time or read it again if you find yourself in spot where your faith is dry or that you find yourself getting little out of your relationship with God. Have a great day of rest, and please pray for those you know that could use a prayer, including yourself. We all need prayers for ourselves and each other. And please, if you can - say a prayer for me.

Friday - Second Week of Lent

Today's readings: March 13, 2009
Reading One: Gn 37:3-4, 12-13a, 17b-28a ;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 105:16-17, 18-19, 20-21 ;
Gospel: Mt 21:33-43, 45-46 ; go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

Today's readings make so much more sense - if you read scripture, and know what happens to Joseph after he is tossed down the well by his brothers. The story is much better than my quick summary, so please read it for yourselves (chap 37 thru the end of Genesis), and also know you will better appreciate the Gospel and the words spoken by Jesus, if you are well versed in the Old Testament. I mean, do you think you could understand chemistry if you never did your homework? Anyway - Joseph gets tossed down the well, and goes to Egypt as a prisoner. He becomes a trusted mentor of a pharaoh, and does a great job. BUT - the next pharaoh throws him in prison, where he interprets the dreams of two men. The first dream comes out well, so the second guy asks for Joseph his thoughts. Joseph tells him he will be killed, which happens. He asks the first guy to tell pharaoh about him, looking for help - but the man doesn't say a thing until much later, when pharaoh has some dreams and needs a wise man of God ways to tell him what is going on. THEN he remembers Joseph, and pharaoh (the 2nd pharaoh) asks him to tell him about his dreams. Joseph tells him that Egypt will have seven great years of harvests, followed by seven years of famine. And he appoints Joseph as head of all the country's food to help avert the impending disaster. All that he said came to pass, and ultimately he meets up with his old brothers who tossed them down the well (his brothers are starving, so they come to Egypt, where Joseph helped them be ready). In the end, he tells his brothers he is not mad at them at all, he loves them - and here's the big point... Everything turns out well, because it is in God's hands. God is GREAT and he is so thankful to God, because God is amazing.

Knowing that story and how it turns out - makes the Gospel come alive. Yes, Jesus is going to get humiliated and crucified. A terrible death of a totally innocent man. But in the end, He is glorified by God His Father, so much so - that His name, Jesus is above all names for all time. The story told today is a wonderful comfort for all those undergoing hardships, especially those who are being destroyed, humiliated, sent to prison, abandoned by their families, but are innocent of the crimes they are being accused of or even if guilty, if they amend their ways, and turn to God for help, God will be there to help. He doesn't draw away from us, we draw away from Him. Trust in God, hope in Him still. Hang in there. Don't get dragged down by evil men or women, or evil ways. It all works out in the end, and indeed the truth does and will come out. You are asked to follow Him, and that means if you are focused on being good, loving God with all your heart, mind, soul & strength - you will probably get pounded in this world. By your enemies, but also - by your friends and even perhaps your family, just like Joseph was. Jesus is quite clear about this reality. Keep the faith, and keep your heart, mind and soul focused on God. He will give you the courage to rise above any and all adversities. I can tell you from experience, he pulled my sorry self out of the well many times. Thank you.

Or, as my neighbor Freddie likes to say - sometimes you have to wade through a pig sty to come out smelling like a rose. His dad told him that. And remember to take great solace in the words of today's psalm - Remember the marvels that God has done. But how can you remember, if you are far away from God? and haven't done a lick of work to get close? So do your homework, learn more about God. Go to church, say thank you, and get close to Him, just like a good parent wants to have his or her child love and respect them, you are God's children. Love God. With all your heart, mind and soul.

In case you missed the post from yesterday - read the readings, and learn more about what Jesus wants you to do. (love each other, especially those who need love the most). And if you want to see some cool pictures of my journey to Asheville, check it out. I was blessed to take some really wonderful pictures, that helped remind me of how marvelous God is.

Thursday Second Week of Lent

Today's readings: March 12, 2009
Reading One: Jer 17:5-10 ;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 1:1-2, 3, 4 and 6 ;
Gospel: Lk 16:19-31 ; go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

UPDATE - Just added some pix. Links at the bottom of this post.

Honestly, you could spend a lifetime reflecting on the words offered in today's readings. Go read them, or listen to the mp3 audio file and follow along with words. Etch the words in your hearts, or dust off your hearts, because the words are already written there. Words of Truth will always be true, and never change. And if you are a smart person, listen to them again - it costs nothing but your time. And in understanding the words, the gift you will receive will be a whole new life. You might understand, how you were actually dead because of how you were living your life, a wonderful gift that you were squandering. But God is kind and gracious and generous beyond your imagination. He will let you live again, and rise above the zombie life you once called "MY story". The first of many resurrections, before the really big one at the end of your life.

Today I received a wonderful note from a friend in high school, I never really knew, because I only cared about myself at the time. She offered words of encouragement after reading the post from yesterday. A small token you might say, but in the words were a gift of a priceless kindness, and no, this is not a Mastercard commercial. (i personally prefer American Express, but I digress). Thank you, my dear friend, i am sorry, I was foolish enough many years ago, to squander the opportunity of seeing how delightful you were. I know now.

And another total... freak of chance. I was answering today's massive bombardment of emails, mostly spam wanting me to do all kinds of things I have no interest in doing - but I came across an old email from Sept. 2, 2009, from a dear friend who told me about some classes that were offered to become a Extraordinary minister (the laymen and laywomen who assist in feeding us lambs during church services). Well, I took those classes, and in addition I decided to take an additional 15 minute session that provided training for being an EM (Extraordinary Minister, we used to be called Eucharistic Ministers, but the name was changed because we are not innocent. hahaa) to the folks who are sick and home bound. Anyway, this simple task of service really changed my life. The truth is, Jesus tells us when you minister to those we consider the least of us... like Lazarus in today's Gospel, or perhaps the sick, the home bound, and those forgotten people who often are left just sitting by a window as they prepare for the next leg of the journey - Jesus tells us - that you are serving Him. Words will never do justice to what this small act of service has done for me. It changed my life. I really do think that I am holding Jesus' hand when we say the Lord's prayer together. And yes, I do tremble sometimes, so profound is my joy. No one gives me the respect and love these people do. It pours out of them like an an endless waterfall of kindness. All I want to do, is to try and do that for everyone else... you will want to be like them, because they love without any fears or concerns. I share this with you, speaking from the deepest parts of my heart, because I really want others to know what a blessing this is. It feels like heaven, and you don't even have to die to get there, it is that good. Honestly, I am left with the feeling that I never even lived, until I knew this feeling.

Shortly after beginning the service I described above, I began to see everything in a new light. I was just a tiny frayed piece in a gigantic jig-saw puzzle. If I wanted to see God, all I had to do was put together the jig-saw puzzle and see every piece as divine, and everyone in the world was a piece of the puzzle, though not as torn and frayed as my little piece. I began to see how God manifested His Glorious presence in every living creature. And the people who were forgotten - were the most important pieces of all, just like when you are doing a puzzle, and you couldn't find this one puzzle piece and it was driving you nuts. The enigmatic puzzle was right in front of me, in everyone's eyes and smiles. What a beautiful new world I saw, dazzling like the sun, like freshly fallen snow, or a little bee delighting in a fragrant rose. God's Glory was everywhere. And from time to time, I ran across someone who was really angry and ornery - and whenever I met these folks, I would smile, and say to myself - Jesus I know you are in there. Help my eyes to see You. I didn't get angry anymore.

Bishop Curlin once passed on a great story about his friend Mother Teresa. She was ministering to the homeless in India, when a man sat up, cursed her up and down, and then - spit in her face. Bishop Curlin said he was so angry, he wanted to ring the guy's neck. And Mother Teresa's response - was to have tears her eyes, joyful wonderful tears - and she told Him, she had just seen Jesus. In the man who spit on her. For Mother Teresa, the man who spit on her, was Jesus in all His Glory. Think about that for a while, and see Jesus in those who spit on you. Your life will never be the same.

Today's readings begin with a deep understanding of feeling humble and hoping in the Lord. For the last several years, I asked the priests I met - what is your favorite prayer in the Bible. I was curious because I wanted to learn the prayers, but the only way I can remember stuff like this, is to write a song about it. Not only does it help me remember, but when I sing a prayer, it actually comes from deeper spot inside me. Catholic tradition says that when you sing, you pray twice. My own experience is that this is true. So, here's the favorite prayer of a humble priest I have been blessed to know, and to listen to his homilies. Today he gave one of the best homilies (sermons to my Protestant friends) I ever heard. His favorite prayer is Psalm 131. Short and sweet - with more layers of profound wisdom than a divine sweet onion that you can peel apart layer after layer... forever.

Please find time to say a prayer for Charlotte, Peter, Missy & her kids, Jim, Debbie, Lisa and her son, Kim, Shelley, Richard & Andy, Claire, Florence, Louise, Stewart, my family, and especially those I forgot to mention. And if time allows, please say one for me.

UPDATE - Today's mass was celebrated in Asheville, NC at St Lawrence Basilica in Asheville. What a wonderful time I had on my short trip down the road. Spent an hour in adoration before mass, and about a half hour after mass. The homily offered today was terrific, all about how we need to take care of the homeless, and those less fortunate than ourselves, and also - how when we approach God in weakness, asking for help - we are filled with something so amazing words do no justice. They don't. Check out some new pictures from my Lenten Journey. I love Black Mountain and Asheville.

Wednesday Second Week of Lent

Today's readings: March 11, 2009
Reading One: Jer 18:18-20 ;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 31:5-6, 14, 15-16 ;
Gospel: Mt 20:17-28 ; go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

As I reflect on today's readings, I find myself thinking that there is a test that comes from loving God with all your heart, your mind, your soul and your strength. Other people will test your devotion, and I found this to be true as I walk on my Lenten Journey this year. I thought I would get some grief, but I never expected the level of animus that some folks have regarding your love of a God that is so gentle, kind, generous, sweet, and above all, loving. The words offered in the Gospel are beautiful, full of patience and a parental type of love, of a perfect parent. I do not understand it at all, but I would be lying if I said I have gotten total support from all my friends. I have been told by many people I dearly love, that I have lost my mind, or that I am an idiot. Why is this I wonder. As I said, it makes no sense to me at all. But if I look at scripture, little has changed since the Old Testament. Poor Jeremiah was murdered, Isaac was sawed in half alive, and eleven of the original twelve apostles all met with unnatural deaths by the hands of those who hated them. And the Catholic church could fill volumes on all the martyrs who died for their love of God, especially for their love of Jesus Christ. Even as a baby, Jesus was seen as a threat. We have the story of the death of the Holy Innocents, where Herod decided to kill all the one year old children because he heard from the wise men about a new king that was born in Bethlehem. I urge all those who wish to draw closer to Christ, to strengthen your faith. As you get closer to His amazing light, you will be tested. Do you really love Him? How many times did I just stay quiet when someone was attacking Him, people who felt compelled to state He was nothing but a fairy tale? People don't get upset when I mention Paul Bunyan and his blue ox babe. These moments are just small tests. If you continue to get draw closer and closer, and your love grows stronger and stronger, as you become overwhelmed by His generosity, the tests get bigger. Pray for the faith that gives you courage during these moments, a courage that can only come from God. He will not let you down, if your heart wants to really love God. But I can tell you from my own experience, your love, and the depth of your love will be severely tested. Perhaps even to the point of shedding blood.

Tuesday Second Week of Lent

Today's readings: March 10, 2009
Reading One: Is 1:10, 16-20 ;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 50:8-9, 16bc-17, 21 and 23 ;
Gospel: Mt 23:1-12 ; go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

It depends on how you see the world - today's readings will leave you either making excuses about why you do the things you do, or I hope, remind you of some good advice you already know to be true. Consider the reality of being a good parent. If you spend all your time grumbling that your kids are a burden, guess what - they will feel like burden. If however, you give up the many things you have to so you can do as much as you want to provide for your children, it is a light burden. In fact, the joy you have watching your kids graduate from college or completing a course or sports activity that demanded not only your money but your time too - the stuff you gave up to make it happen, will be no big deal. If you are blessed enough to do these kinds of sacrifices for everyone, you will be a very happy person, as long as your attitude is right, and you learn to be a joyful giver.

For much of my life, I struggled with the message of today's Gospel. It is true that I wasted many years and opportunities - exalting myself. Till one fine day, God got my attention - my full and undivided attention. And I found myself in a position where most everyone, especially those I loved most, didn't really care that much for me. And, I was blessed to have the reasons for this (exalting myself), raised in front of my eyes and in truth, I couldn't really blame them for acting this way. The good news however, is that in this position of weakness, and awareness of my weakness - I was humbled (humiliated would be a better description - ouch). I didn't think that much of myself either and felt far away from the treasures deep in my heart that I valued most. The good news is that this emptiness was filled with something far beyond what I could have created for myself. As I look back, it was just beginning of a wonderful road that led to a joy I never before experienced. The words are an excellent guide to how to live a happy and fruitful life. Trust in the words, and be a joyful servant.

The greatest among you must be your servant.
Whoever exalts himself will be humbled;
but whoever humbles himself will be exalted.

Second Sunday of Lent

Today's readings: March 8, 2009
Reading One:
Gn 22:1-2, 9a, 10-13, 15-18 ;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 116:10, 15, 16-17, 18-19 ;
Second Reading: Rom 8:31b-34 ;
Gospel: Mk 9:2-10 ; go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

Today is Sunday so I will take a rest from blathering about how wonderful God has been to His silly black sheep of the family. He knows I am thankful. Hopefully, today's first reading bodes well for Duke as they play UNC, and a ram is offered in sacrifice. (But I fear He might not be rooting for the Blue Devils either). Have a great Sunday, rest and make sure you tell everyone in your family, that you love them.