Tuesday of Holy Week

Today's readings: April 7, 2009
Reading One: Is 49:1-6;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 71:1-2, 3-4a, 5ab-6ab, 15 and 17 ;
Gospel: Jn 13:21-33, 36-38;
go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

Sometimes, we are the ones responsible for betraying a friendship, a love relationship, and sometimes, betrayal even involves a sacrament like marriage. (I hope that is not you). And all too often it is easy to justify our actions. Perhaps the best way of seeing how our thoughts, words and actions hurt others - is to remember the times we were on the receiving end... when you felt betrayed by someone you love. For the one who feels betrayed, it is easy to see how the other party is acting unjustly.

So - just recall, for a moment, a time when you were on the receiving end of betrayal. For most of us, this does not, thankfully involve actual death - but suffering from the betrayal of broken friendships, and broken hearts occurs far too frequently. Why is that? Mostly I think because people choose to follow our own path, in lieu of following Jesus. As folks begin to walk their own path, the soul tries to justify itself, and hides from their guilt and shame. Especially if they are strident in their belief, that they have to "do their own thing", and are confident they are making the right choice of doing it My Way.

When we become confident of our own opinion, it blinds us to our deep feelings of guilt, and we tell ourselves, we do not feel badly at all. Oddly enough, the guilt exists, but very often - the betraying party is so caught up in their way, and their opinion - they are oblivious to how terrible they feel inside. There is a wonderful psalm, #36 that speaks to this - I don't feel guilty about anything that I am doing, and how it not only hurts others, it hurts yourself! At times like these, we play tricks on ourselves, and can become unaware of how badly we really feel, deep inside the heart. All too often, the sinfulness of broken love spins out of control, and hurts innocent bystanders, shared friends, children and families. So, meditate on a few passages from psalm 36 a moment.

Sin speaks to the sinner
in the depths of his heart
there is no fear of God
before his eyes.

He so flatters himself in his mind
that he knows not his guilt.
In his mouth are mischief and deceit
All wisdom is gone.

He plots the defeat of goodness
as he lies on his bed.
He has set his foot on evil ways,
he clings to what is evil.

Now - think about those relationship where you can see how true these words are - when you were the one being betrayed. It is easy to see the behavior in others. Here's the hard part - reverse the roles, and think of those relationships where you decided to end a relationship with someone you once cared for - whether it is a friend or a closer relationship.

It is now Holy Week - and it is time to mend fences. If you find yourself where you just don't care about someone anymore - get your act together and remember Jesus told us to love each. Even our enemies. But we are also called to love our friends, and those we no longer count as a friend. All too often - stuff ends up this way, because we feel guilty, over time anyway - and we can angry at others, because we don't enjoy feeling that way. Rise up out of the mire and reconcile. Ask Jesus for help - His hand is outstretched to help.

And - if you feel betrayed, know that you have a share of the blame for the relationship in need of repair. And offer mercy to the one who betrayed you. Love them anyway, even if there is a burden of sorrow that comes with it. This is what Jesus did for all of us. Follow Him - and get off the path called My Way. Follow Jesus.

The best way to lose your sorrow - is to heed the advice of the psalm in today's psalm reading and find refuge in God. And be merciful to those who hurt you.

For you are my hope, O Lord;
my trust, O God, from my youth.
On you I depend from birth;
from my mother's womb you are my strength.
R. I will sing of your salvation.

As I get close to the end of my Lenten Journey, I have to chuckle at myself on how the road has taken me from what I thought I going to do (travel a lot on the road), to what has actually happened over the course of the last several weeks. In truth, my Lenten Journey has covered a massive expanse of miles, but these miles were not made of asphalt and concrete and trips to the wilderness. The road has been much more of a journey inward, to a part of soul that I was led to. Very deep inside. This part of my soul has a profound yearning to draw closer to God, even if that means I have to die to get there, or get refined in a blazing fire. My faith in God, and my trust in God has grown. I had the courage to share many stories I bottled up inside, about how wonderful God has been to me. My journey has been following where I thought God was leading me. I honestly have tried to follow Jesus, wherever He led me. While it might appear that I lost my way, in truth - I hope I did lose My Way. I want to follow Jesus, not My Way. Here's a terrific song, written by a good friend named Lenny called Soul Searching. As Easter gets closer - I wanna be ready, just like the song says. The song was recorded at the studio where I work, and my buddy Frank was engineer and producer.

Saturday - Third Week of Lent

Today's readings: March 21, 2009
Reading One: Hos 6:1-6;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 51:3-4, 18-19, 20-21ab ;
Gospel: Lk 18:9-14; go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

One could spend a few lifetimes on the words offered today. We begin with Hosea, chapter 6 - which goes backwards from yesterday, when we got chapter 14. (My favorite part is still chapter 11, but the whole story is worth the time to read it. I think it might take you 20 minutes, Do you have that much time to offer God? Remember, the goal is to love God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength. Got 20 minutes?).

Here's the message I get from today's words - which are all centered on a short phrase - Show mercy, not sacrifice. What does that mean? Like I said, you spend a lifetime on just those four words - it takes a long time to learn what they really mean, and longer to live it. But the reward is beyond explanation. But I am going too fast - what does it mean? Well, back in ye olden days, the Israelites would fire up their Reuben Weber grills, and barbeque some meat, as an offering of love to God. This was their sacrifice to God. Before you judge these old guys too harshly, times were tough - there was no supermarket down the street, it actually took a lot of effort to grill. But God explained through the prophets, that was not what he wanted. I mean, he did make the animals too and I do not think he really needs us as his personal chef. What he wants from us, is mercy. Mercy? huh? Yes, mercy. We are to show mercy to each other, and this mercy allows us to actually really, deeply love each other.

Look at the pharisee in today's Gospel. We might get really happy with this Gospel reading as we mumble to ourselves, I am not like that Pharisee, but I ask you to look deeper. How much time do you spend, outside of church, complaining about what someone does to you that you find annoying. Is a neighbor's leaf blower too loud, does that woman over there always run her mouth, is that man over there such an arrogant little so and so? Come on, admit it, draw the issue up in front of your eyes and see the truth. Still not convinced? How about politics? Is the (pick you opposing party) such an idiot? Or why are those people so... whatever. I think you get my point. But if need help, listen to Luke's explanation.

Jesus addressed this parable
to those who were convinced of their own righteousness
and despised everyone else.

The key phrase - and despised everyone else. On my road through this life, I was in that spot - BIG TIME. So many things in my life were not going my way at all, and I got frustrated, and annoyed and angry as a hornet. Finally I reached the point where I felt just about everyone was an idiot. It was insidious trap, a slippery slope, I didn't get there in a day or a week, I didn't even know it was happening to me. And you can probably guess what reaction I got from others. People avoided me, as no matter what I said, the ugliness in my heart came through my words. The good news is eventually you die to this beast. And there's a flip side, an alternate universe emerges that is awesome. Basically, I got so low and broken from my own foolishness - that I was forced to acknowledge my prideful sins, and was humbled to the point where I asked God if he would be so kind as to allow me into the body of Christ, I would be happy to be the toenail fungus in this body. I screwed up so badly, and got so low, I actually was blessed to be filled with something a million times more amazing than me being strong. How does it manifest itself in each wonderful day? When I get coffee at McDonalds, I feel honored to speak with someone so lovely and wonderful. Every single person is vital, manifesting God in wonderful and unique ways I could never imagine. I need learn from every word that comes out of their mouths. Everyone is so much more beautifu than I could ever be. It is awesome because everyone is a total thrill. And every single creature is forgiven for whatever foolishness they might do, because I know it happens to people. It happened to me. It hurts. Instead of despising others, I see them as Rock Stars, Movie Legends, Saints, Heroes, - why everyone is amazing, just awesome and I am left feeling honored to even be in their presence. The impossible puzzle of who God is, and what he looks like, is slowly revealed in everyone's face, each smile, and even silly things they might say or do. How's that you ask? Well, I am blessed to show that person mercy, as I remember how Jesus was merciful to me, when I did nothing to deserve it, was perfectly guilty of being a fool, God showed me perfect mercy. Whenever I run into people that get my dander up - I am eager and quick to pause, as I remember how God showed mercy to me. And I smile, thinking what a wonderful and generous God - who allows me to share this gift of mercy to someone else. He lets me wear His crown for this moment.

Try it out for yourself and spend an hour, or a day, of a week or a lifetime where you imagine yourself as the least of everyone out there. In this alternate universe - everyone is worthy of all your love, in fact you feel honored to give it freely. Try it out. It is an awesome world when you see it with eyes that look up to every person in it.