Tuesday of Holy Week

Today's readings: April 7, 2009
Reading One: Is 49:1-6;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 71:1-2, 3-4a, 5ab-6ab, 15 and 17 ;
Gospel: Jn 13:21-33, 36-38;
go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

Sometimes, we are the ones responsible for betraying a friendship, a love relationship, and sometimes, betrayal even involves a sacrament like marriage. (I hope that is not you). And all too often it is easy to justify our actions. Perhaps the best way of seeing how our thoughts, words and actions hurt others - is to remember the times we were on the receiving end... when you felt betrayed by someone you love. For the one who feels betrayed, it is easy to see how the other party is acting unjustly.

So - just recall, for a moment, a time when you were on the receiving end of betrayal. For most of us, this does not, thankfully involve actual death - but suffering from the betrayal of broken friendships, and broken hearts occurs far too frequently. Why is that? Mostly I think because people choose to follow our own path, in lieu of following Jesus. As folks begin to walk their own path, the soul tries to justify itself, and hides from their guilt and shame. Especially if they are strident in their belief, that they have to "do their own thing", and are confident they are making the right choice of doing it My Way.

When we become confident of our own opinion, it blinds us to our deep feelings of guilt, and we tell ourselves, we do not feel badly at all. Oddly enough, the guilt exists, but very often - the betraying party is so caught up in their way, and their opinion - they are oblivious to how terrible they feel inside. There is a wonderful psalm, #36 that speaks to this - I don't feel guilty about anything that I am doing, and how it not only hurts others, it hurts yourself! At times like these, we play tricks on ourselves, and can become unaware of how badly we really feel, deep inside the heart. All too often, the sinfulness of broken love spins out of control, and hurts innocent bystanders, shared friends, children and families. So, meditate on a few passages from psalm 36 a moment.

Sin speaks to the sinner
in the depths of his heart
there is no fear of God
before his eyes.

He so flatters himself in his mind
that he knows not his guilt.
In his mouth are mischief and deceit
All wisdom is gone.

He plots the defeat of goodness
as he lies on his bed.
He has set his foot on evil ways,
he clings to what is evil.

Now - think about those relationship where you can see how true these words are - when you were the one being betrayed. It is easy to see the behavior in others. Here's the hard part - reverse the roles, and think of those relationships where you decided to end a relationship with someone you once cared for - whether it is a friend or a closer relationship.

It is now Holy Week - and it is time to mend fences. If you find yourself where you just don't care about someone anymore - get your act together and remember Jesus told us to love each. Even our enemies. But we are also called to love our friends, and those we no longer count as a friend. All too often - stuff ends up this way, because we feel guilty, over time anyway - and we can angry at others, because we don't enjoy feeling that way. Rise up out of the mire and reconcile. Ask Jesus for help - His hand is outstretched to help.

And - if you feel betrayed, know that you have a share of the blame for the relationship in need of repair. And offer mercy to the one who betrayed you. Love them anyway, even if there is a burden of sorrow that comes with it. This is what Jesus did for all of us. Follow Him - and get off the path called My Way. Follow Jesus.

The best way to lose your sorrow - is to heed the advice of the psalm in today's psalm reading and find refuge in God. And be merciful to those who hurt you.

For you are my hope, O Lord;
my trust, O God, from my youth.
On you I depend from birth;
from my mother's womb you are my strength.
R. I will sing of your salvation.

As I get close to the end of my Lenten Journey, I have to chuckle at myself on how the road has taken me from what I thought I going to do (travel a lot on the road), to what has actually happened over the course of the last several weeks. In truth, my Lenten Journey has covered a massive expanse of miles, but these miles were not made of asphalt and concrete and trips to the wilderness. The road has been much more of a journey inward, to a part of soul that I was led to. Very deep inside. This part of my soul has a profound yearning to draw closer to God, even if that means I have to die to get there, or get refined in a blazing fire. My faith in God, and my trust in God has grown. I had the courage to share many stories I bottled up inside, about how wonderful God has been to me. My journey has been following where I thought God was leading me. I honestly have tried to follow Jesus, wherever He led me. While it might appear that I lost my way, in truth - I hope I did lose My Way. I want to follow Jesus, not My Way. Here's a terrific song, written by a good friend named Lenny called Soul Searching. As Easter gets closer - I wanna be ready, just like the song says. The song was recorded at the studio where I work, and my buddy Frank was engineer and producer.