My Lenten Journey

Hi good friends, strangers, brothers and sisters

The best way to read this blog is to start at the beginning, and read it in sequential order. The links to the readings for each day offered in daily mass should still work fine, though I suspect a lot of the video and audio files will no longer work as the links expire. Oh well... like I said - check the readings link one by one, and go to the USCCB.org web site to follow the readings. These links go straight to the St. Joseph's bible at USCCB, and as far as I know - the links should work just fine. The story comes with pictures, songs, and a wide open honesty.

To fully explore the Lenten Journey - you really need to read the readings before you read the text from the Lenten Journey blog. Otherwise, I suspect - it will make absolutely no sense. I am not being obtuse about all this - but for the most part, the daily writing is inspired by what the readings were for each day.

Once you start to the beginning - to go to the next day, all you need to do is click the NEWER POST link at the bottom of the blog entry to follow the story in chronological order. The story is best read this way, as you will be able to see how things changed over the course of time, and I hope - see how all I did during the course of my trip - is to try and be obedient to what I felt I was being asked by God to do each day. Toward the end of the story - some of the reflections relate to sharing very personal experiences of how God has touched my life, and how I knew - by faith - that God is with me. This was probably the hardest part, as like most people - I like to keep private things private. But in all honesty, I felt that God was asking me to share some things that are hard to share. The reason they are hard to share - is all too often, the listener I shared them with, would think think I was insane, or that I had lost my mind. In truth... it did happen in the way I described, and I did my best to honestly share these experiences - which of course would be colored by how I see the world, but I assure you, I am just as sane as the next man. Another very difficult part of my Lenten Journey was that some of my closest friends, came to the conclusion that I had lost my mind. And this conclusion was shared with others, who whispered these things in secret, to other friends who in turn felt compelled to keep me at a safe distance. How sad - I was ostracized by many of my dearest friends, and perhaps even some family members for sharing how wonderful God has been to me. So wonderful it makes my joy complete, it makes want to sing, it fills my heart with boundless love. I know, Jesus tells me to rejoice and be glad when this happens, because my reward in heaven will be great. And I tried to remember this. And tried to be like Peter in Acts of the Apostles, who was thrilled and thankful to have been beaten and whipped for his love of Jesus. I regret my Lord I was not a very worthy servant in this regard. It hurt me to the core to be forsaken by those I loved most, and my response was not to rejoice, but instead to cry. It hurt. And it hurt worse, because it created a feeling of justification for some, to treat me very badly. Forgive them Lord, and forgive me. Please grant me the grace to increase my faith, that I might respond in the way you ask me too. To be thankful and rejoice when I suffer insult for love of You. Obviously, I still have a long way to go.

But enough of my wimpy ways.. ahhaha - please read the story of a foolish man's walk in faith, and How God changes our lives each and every day. But please - start at the beginning, just as you would any story, and read it it order. And if you wish to read the blog - you have to read the readings at the top of the page, if you might ever hope to understand how God was with me on my journey, and I hope, you will have your eyes opened and see how God is with you too. He's there for you, I am not special, but for some reason I do not understand, nor have I done anything to earn it - but for some reason, God has allowed my eyes and heart to see things others are blind to. Which is kind of ironic, since in the worldy measure, I am legally blind. Now ... bypass the blog post below, and start at the beginning on February 17, 2009. Read the scripture first, and at the bottom of the post... click the NEWER POST link to turn the page. Yes, I repeated this instruction because I am aware how people read things online.

Today's readings: April 13, 2009
Reading One: Acts 2:14, 22-33;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 16:1-2a and 5, 7-8, 9-10, 11 ;
Gospel: Mt 28:8-15;
go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

Well, I actually took the day off for Monday and am posting this on Tuesday. Forgive me... I forgot that Easter is such a HUGE celebration - we, as Catholics feel compelled to celebrate Easter for a long time. Especially the first week after Easter, and in truth... every day until Pentecost. Every day till our last breath.

But, I need to get back to my life and job - so officially, I ended the daily posts on Easter Sunday. As I reflect back on my Lenten Journey, it was really a wonderful trip. It began as something of a road trip, and ended up as a journey on a road of faith. Much more internal and spiritual, where I just tried to do what was asked of me, following nothing more than what I believed in my head and heart - the things God asked me to do. That's why during one week, I shared so many personal experiences. Something I read hit a nerve, and told me to share a few wonderful blessings, of how I knew God was with me on my walk through life.

Before the trip began, this same external voice told me something very scary. I shared it with only two people. The voice said:

You know you are going to die.

When I first heard it, I was very frightened, because so many times - this voice told me quite clearly what lay ahead on the road I walked on. I mean - REALLY way too far out to be even a statistical phenomena, or to come from me. Strange words, nothing to do with my internal ramblings at the moment. These Words are always extremely brief... very few words, but words that carried such a power & weight, you couldn't ignore them. Something was afoot. Pay attention! I had recently read a few books written by St Teresa of Avila, and she explains it better than I could. If you are interested in how to recognize God's voice - read her biography, The Seven Castles and The Way of Perfection. She's quite a quirky gal, but she knew how to tune in God, and tune out the world. The inverse of Timothy Leary - HA!

So on Easter Sunday - as I went out in the afternoon to take some pictures of the beautiful and glorious day, I was riding on Catawba Avenue, near I-77 and Cashion's Quick Mart. I figured that the words I heard - You know you are going to die, was just a weird internal self freak-out kinda thing, a product of my fears. I had almost forgotten all about it, Easter was here - and I was alive and well. We are going to die after all.

But the words actually spared my life. I did what I thought God was asking me to do, even if it meant I would die in the process. A much deeper leap of faith than I have ever had the pleasure of experiencing. Sure... this all sounds too weird, but all the same, I am telling you the truth. On Catawba Avenue, at about 4:00 PM, a large van pulled out on my left, racing to get in front of the car behind me. Excuse me... if you try and merge now, it will be over my dead body buster! I was invisible to him (darn, stealth button engaged). It was a very, very close call... but I was ok and nothing happened - other than the guy behind the wheel of the van found how big he could make his eyes pop out of his head, a little burned rubber on the road, but no collision or motorcycle hitting pavement. I was very thankful for God's shield, that kept me safe. He was indeed with me. I was so thankful to be alive.

And yet, in many ways - I did die. To things mostly related to fear, stuff that kept me from living the gift of life as fully as I might. A transformation - similar to what happened to St. Peter after the Resurrection. Parts of me that had gone into a kind of zombie state of fear were no more. I was really alive in a way I can't do justice explaining. It feels wonderful. My faith in God burst through to a new level of grace. And prayers asking to help my unbelief were answered in ways beyond anything I could imagine. How thankful I find myself today, as I am really living in a new light. God is great !!!

Check the pictures I took on Easter Sunday after another near brush with death. Truth is - we are all going to die. Better start living my friends - time is short, but the time is sweet when you walk in the light of God's love.

And so - this my is my last post. I will leave you with a great suggestion - something I have done for many years now, with great blessings that have come from a miniscule level of effort. Read the Acts of the Apostles between now and Pentecost. See what a different man Peter is. We all remember how he denied Jesus three times - but check what happened to him, after he wept and begged God for forgiveness. He was a totally new man, a guy you wouldn't even recognize as the same man. I am sure God is thrilled to do this to you as well.

Easter Sunday The Resurrection of the Lord

Today's readings: April 12, 2009
Easter Sunday The Resurrection of the Lord -
The Mass of Easter Day
Reading One: Acts 10:34a, 37-43 ;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 118:1-2, 16-17, 22-23 ;
Second Reading: Col 3:1-4 or I Cor 5:6b-8;
Gospel: Jn 20:1-9 or Mk 16:1-7 or Lk 24:13-35;

go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

Listen to the readings. Have a wonderful Easter. Be joyful and thankful. Love each other. My Lenten Journey is now complete. Thank you for everything. A day of rest. Ahhhh!

The wonderful news, for Catholics, we celebrate Easter all week! So great is our joy, we can't just wrap it up in one day. Go to daily mass this week - it is Easter all week long! God is great and worthy of your praise and thanksgiving. Let the entire world sing with joy!



Or if you prefer something more olde school - Here's the full Catholic Mass, celebrated in Chicago, 1941 at Our Lady of Sorrows Church.



Something older above - something newer below. I love kids!



Or something, non-Catholic with a wonderful uplifting, and rocking beat.



Happy Easter. Give thanks, rejoice and be glad! God is GREAT!!!

Easter Vigil in the Holy Night of Easter

Today's readings: April 11, 2009
Easter Sunday The Resurrection of the Lord -
At the Easter Vigil in the Holy Night of Easter
Reading One: Gn 1:1-2:2 or 1:1, 26-31a ;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 104:1-2, 5-6, 10, 12, 13-14, 24, 35 ;
Second Reading: Gn 22:1-18 or 22:1-2, 9a, 10-13, 15-18 ;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 16:5, 8, 9-10, 11 ;
Reading Three: Ex 14:15-15:1 ;
Responsorial Psalm: Ex 15:1-2, 3-4, 5-6, 17-18 ;
Reading Four: Is 54:5-14 ;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 30:2, 4, 5-6, 11-12, 13 ;
Reading Five: Is 55:1-11 ;
Responsorial Psalm: Is 12:2-3, 4, 5-6 ;
Reading Six: Bar 3:9-15, 32C4:4 ;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 19:8, 9, 10, 11 ;
Reading Seven: Ez 36:16-17a, 18-28 ;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 51:12-13, 14-15, 18-19 ;
Epistle: Rom 6:3-11 ;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 118:1-2, 16-17, 22-23 ;
Gospel: Mk 16:1-7 ;

or go to this page (for all the sections listed above, with options on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

The Easter Vigil Mass is probably the best mass of the year. For me it is anyway. If you have never experienced an Easter Vigil Mass, try it out this year. You will not be disappointed.

Nothing to add - just do the readings, or listen to the mp3. Happy Easter - spread the Good News!!!

Here's some music, depending on your taste. You can go with something more rocking



Something really joyful, rocking and global



or if you want a Gregorian Chant,



HAPPY EASTER !!!!

Good Friday of the Lord's Passion

Today's readings: April 10, 2009
Reading One: Is 52:13—53:12 ;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 31:2, 6, 12-13, 15-16, 17, 25 ;
Second Reading: Heb 4:14-16; 5:7-9 ;
Gospel: Jn 18:1—19:42 ; go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

May your heart be changed as you listen or read God's Word today. I hope your Lenten Journey was beneficial and that you renewed and strengthened your love and appreciation of God. If not, Change. Like the spring buds popping about everywhere, blossom and find new life. Ask God for the grace to enjoy your own springtime, and ask to be renewed in your love of God, your love of others, that your heart might find new heights of thankfulness, and that He helps you with your unbelief.

I hope the changes you made leave you feeling happier, and that you continue to grow in Holiness and not slip into old habits. Don't give up. God can do the impossible, keep asking for help when you need it. When you are most in need, He is closest to you. Spend more time in prayer, please. It is so beneficial, but you have to find time to get to the treasures. And sing your prayers, in your home when no one is around, or if others are around. Pray and don't be afraid to sing your prayers.

Prayer does not change God, but it changes those who pray.
Soren Kierkegaard

The Catholic church offers two services on Good Friday. The Veneration of the Cross, and in some parishes, there is also a Tenebrae service. You learn more about that here.

Today is a sad and mournful day. I remember growing up, how so many times, the sky would turn dark around 3:30 PM, and often just pour down rain. There were even a few years where it was a nice sunny day in the morning, and then in the middle of the afternoon, the sky would darken in the ominous way. A reminder of who is in charge of the weather. I wonder what today will bring? (ed - Friday, EST - 1:33PM, dark, overcast - downright lugubrious).

In case you were wondering, scripture tells us Jesus was crucified at Golgotha, the Valley of the Skull. Calvary is Latin for skull or so I remember reading somewhere. So where is it? Well, in truth, no one can really be certain, but after a little research, I think it is close to or at one of the Church of the Holy Sepulchre. Now there are a bunch of churches with that name around Jerusalem, but if you check google maps, doing a search of Church of the Holy Sepulchre, you can look at the one with the marker - A, which contains the following text in the description.

The Church of the Holy Sepulchre , also called the Church of the Resurrection, by Eastern Christians, is a Christian church within the walled Old City of Jerusalem.The site is worshiped by most Christians as Golgotha,(the Hill of Calvery), where as the New Testament says that Jesus was crucified, and is said to also contain the place where Jesus was buried (the sepulcher).

Here is an interesting read on the subject of Where was Golgotha?

I thought I would close with a wonderful blues video by Roy Buchanan, offering a wonderful rendition of the blues tune - The Messiah Will Come Again. Hang in there, and remember how it is often dark and scary sometimes in life. Have Faith! The darkest hour is often right before the dawn.

Holy Thursday - Chrism Mass & Evening Mass of Lord's Last Supper Mass

Today's readings: April 9, 2009
Holy Thursday, Chrism Mass
Reading One: Is 61:1-3a, 6a, 8b-9;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 89:21-22, 25 and 27 ;
Reading Two: Rv 1:5-8;
Gospel: Lk 4:16-21;

Today's readings: April 9, 2009
Holy Thursday, Evening Mass of the Lord's Supper
Reading One: Ex 12:1-8, 11-14;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 116:12-13, 15-16bc, 17-18 ;
Reading Two: 1 Cor 11:23-26;
Gospel: Jn 13:1-15;


In Charlotte, the Chrism Mass was on Tuesday and I lucky to be there to celebrate. The Chrism mass comes once a year where all the priests, deacons, nuns, religious, and seminarians from all over the diocese come together to celebrate mass and bless the Holy Oils used in baptism, annointing the sick, marriage, Holy Orders, and confirmation.. It was a wonderful and memorable experience.

Thursday night is also the night of the Evening Mass of the Lord's Supper. This will be the last day to celebrate mass until Good Friday, the only day of the year no mass is offered. God's Word reflects upon service of others, and for service of others needs - made perfectly clear by Jesus who washes the feet of His disciples. The greatest of all, God Himself, humbles Himself to wash the feet of His fellow men. Jesus is both God and man. But this night, He washes our lowly feet, as God. And as a brother, a man. In the Catholic church, we follow the structure of the mass as a solemnity with the added rite of Jesus washing the feet of his disciples. After mass, there will be adoration until midnight. Then the blessed sacrament will be be taken away for the long and difficult day, Good Friday. The choir sings traditional songs of lament in minor keys. The focus is strongly on what Jesus will have to endure, and it is a very solemn mass.

If you would like to see a view from above of the Garden of Gethsemane - Check this link out. Then select a satellite view.

Wednesday of Holy Week

Today's readings: April 8, 2009
Reading One: Is 50:4-9a;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 69:8-10, 21-22, 31 and 33-34 ;
Gospel: Mt 26:14-25;
go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

Today's readings are so powerful to me. Especially the first reading from Isaiah. How deeply these words are written into heart. And they are very comforting words when you find yourself in a place where others are disparaging you with harsh words.

In early February 2002 on Ash Wednesday. I arrived home and found a large packet in the mail. I recognized the name of the return address, because I knew the name of the man on the outside of the envelope. He had once done some work for me, in that instance - he was asked to defend me in a battle that was being waged against me. But in this case, the man's name on the outside of the envelope was not representing me, he was in an adversarial role. While I thought I knew what was inside, I was mistaken. The contents included all kinds of slanderous lies about me, and the words cut to the deepest part of my heart. A day or two later, my dad was kind to me, and explained that this is what those people do. That is what they are paid for. Don't take it personally.

But as I read the words for the first time, I feared that all kinds of terrible ramifications would unfold, making a difficult situation unbearable. Thank God in His kindness to me, that my fears were not realized. I was thankful however, knowing My Lord is with me. And that I was blessed to find safety in God's kindness, just as the psalm said thousands of years ago - blessed the man who takes refuge in the Lord. It was true for me. I had a rock to hold onto when the waves came crashing upon me.

As I continued to read the words in the big package, I became overwhelmed with the harsh words, fears of what might be and and got tears in my eyes. My neighbor saw me on the front step as she went to retrieve her mail, and came over to console me. She asked if everything was ok, and I said no. I shared with her the contents - and read some of the things that were said about me. It was so unfair. And I was filled with fear. Sorrow gushed into my soul.

And then the most bizarre thing happened. A pack... or I guess it would be a swarm, of termites flew over my head like a black cloud and began to search for any crack they could find to get into my house. On my front door! I mean there were thousands of them, and it was right over my head. While this might be really creepy to others, to me it was hilarious. I burst out laughing, held my hands up toward the sky as I addressed my sweet God. I asked God a simple question, not angry... but in a Jewish voice, Mel Brooks kind of way:

What - are we getting biblical here?

And just laughed hysterically, I mean what was I supposed to do? My God knows me, He was there when He knit me in my mother's womb, and He knows when I sit, and when I stand. I knew, God knew me... & that He knew, I would find it hilarious. So, I told my neighbor that there will be plenty of time to feel sorrow, but right now I had to go to Lowes hardware, get some chemicals from Elizabeth, New Jersey, and TCB (that's Take care of business to all those unfamiliar with Aretha Franklin's R-E-S-P-E-C-T). So I went to Lowes, and all I could think about was how odd it was, the timing so impeccable, and how I had never seen anything like it before. I was thankful. HA!

At the same time in 2002, I was in the middle of becoming a Catholic, and I was going to the RCIA classes since August. Before this all happened, I began going to daily mass, and always folded my hands to receive a blessing from the priest. Each day during mass, there was part during the mass that was so special to me for some unknown reason.

Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed.

For me, that was my moment in mass when I received God's grace. I also felt blessed by the priest's blessing, but those words cut so deeply inside me, I will never forget power of that one sentence. Years later I learned what Jesus had to say about those words, and felt further blessed.

Well, it was about 10 days later, after I received the divine love swarm of termites, which all perished under the toxic Jersey chemicals I purchased from Lowes that day. Ten days later, I was asked to meet with the priest after mass, who told me I have bad news for you. I wondered what have I done now? Yes, I have done some stupid things in my life, in truth, too many to list, but I was changing fast. Honestly, I was feeling like I was being cleansed of all my sinfulness. Turning from blood red, to beautiful white. I couldn't think of anything I had done, so I wondered what the bad news was. He shared with me, with a very sad face - that I could not become a Catholic with the rest of my RCIA class, because of some issues on my RCIA application. He apologized that he did not see it earlier and was very gentle and loving about it.

For some people, that would have been it. It is over, bye bye Catholicism. But I remembered my special time in mass, when I said those words. That powerful sentence that reassured me, that God was there for me. I told the priest it was ok, I understood, and learned something wonderful about obedience before God, and obedience to the church. I did not know it at the time, but I learned God would make things right, and bless me beyond what words might convey, for being a gentle lamb.

A few weeks later, the same priest again called me into his office after mass. For those two weeks, I was not allowed to receive, or share in this divine food and drink. Furthermore, I was led to believe that I would not be allowed to share bread at the table of God, for a long long, time. People had told me it usually takes years to clear up such things. Again... more fears that would not come to pass. The priest told me, that in my case he was able to apply existing Canonical Law in a way that provided me a loophole of sorts. Hooray, Perry Mason of Canonical Law to the rescue! It is too crazy to share, and somewhat ironic as well - but I remember I was so happy to hear the good news. I would be blessed to eat this divine food and drink, the body and blood of Jesus at Easter. Oh how thankful I was. God is great.

It was during that two week window - when I was not sure if I would ever be allowed to become a Catholic - that I heard the words of Isaiah for the first time. Perhaps I heard them before, but at this time - my heart was ready to actually hear the words. The seeds finally fell on fertile ground. And the words provide great comfort. Just hang in there.

The Lord GOD has given me
a well-trained tongue,
That I might know how to speak to the weary
a word that will rouse them.
Morning after morning
he opens my ear that I may hear;
And I have not rebelled,
have not turned back.
I gave my back to those who beat me,
my cheeks to those who plucked my beard;
My face I did not shield
from buffets and spitting.

The Lord GOD is my help,
therefore I am not disgraced;
I have set my face like flint,
knowing that I shall not be put to shame.
He is near who upholds my right;
if anyone wishes to oppose me,
let us appear together.
Who disputes my right?
Let him confront me.
See, the Lord GOD is my help;
who will prove me wrong?

The words were of course speaking about Jesus, and the suffering He would endure as part of His passion and death. And they are comforting words to anyone in the middle of tough times, especially if you find yourself filled with fears of what might happen. Often times, it is the fear that is the hardest part to bear of a difficult situation, and it is such a blessing to know where to find refuge.

About five years later, I shared this passage from Isaiah with a dear, sweet girl who poured her heart out to me. And she shared her sorrow with total openness, and I hoped my listening was helpful as I tried to assuage her concerns about what others might think or say. For some reason - those words from Isaiah came back to me in a tidal rush, and I hoped and prayed they would bring her comfort in her trials, just as the words comforted me, many years before. I found a Bible and shared them with her. So many times in life, we are able to help each other out, just by listening. And if you find yourself at a loss for words, or what to say - the Bible has many comforting words that will usually say it better than I can.

Here's a song that comes to mind, sung by friends I love like family. The young people singing this song, recorded the track for their Grandmother, who always loved the Guardian Angel Prayer. I share all this, so that you might come to believe, if God is there for this poor crazy man, He most certainly is there for you too. It is my deepest hope that by repeating Isaiah's inspired words, which were said to herald Jesus' coming in the future, that these might bring comfort to the weary, just as they did for me when I was finally ready to listen closely.

Tuesday of Holy Week

Today's readings: April 7, 2009
Reading One: Is 49:1-6;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 71:1-2, 3-4a, 5ab-6ab, 15 and 17 ;
Gospel: Jn 13:21-33, 36-38;
go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

Sometimes, we are the ones responsible for betraying a friendship, a love relationship, and sometimes, betrayal even involves a sacrament like marriage. (I hope that is not you). And all too often it is easy to justify our actions. Perhaps the best way of seeing how our thoughts, words and actions hurt others - is to remember the times we were on the receiving end... when you felt betrayed by someone you love. For the one who feels betrayed, it is easy to see how the other party is acting unjustly.

So - just recall, for a moment, a time when you were on the receiving end of betrayal. For most of us, this does not, thankfully involve actual death - but suffering from the betrayal of broken friendships, and broken hearts occurs far too frequently. Why is that? Mostly I think because people choose to follow our own path, in lieu of following Jesus. As folks begin to walk their own path, the soul tries to justify itself, and hides from their guilt and shame. Especially if they are strident in their belief, that they have to "do their own thing", and are confident they are making the right choice of doing it My Way.

When we become confident of our own opinion, it blinds us to our deep feelings of guilt, and we tell ourselves, we do not feel badly at all. Oddly enough, the guilt exists, but very often - the betraying party is so caught up in their way, and their opinion - they are oblivious to how terrible they feel inside. There is a wonderful psalm, #36 that speaks to this - I don't feel guilty about anything that I am doing, and how it not only hurts others, it hurts yourself! At times like these, we play tricks on ourselves, and can become unaware of how badly we really feel, deep inside the heart. All too often, the sinfulness of broken love spins out of control, and hurts innocent bystanders, shared friends, children and families. So, meditate on a few passages from psalm 36 a moment.

Sin speaks to the sinner
in the depths of his heart
there is no fear of God
before his eyes.

He so flatters himself in his mind
that he knows not his guilt.
In his mouth are mischief and deceit
All wisdom is gone.

He plots the defeat of goodness
as he lies on his bed.
He has set his foot on evil ways,
he clings to what is evil.

Now - think about those relationship where you can see how true these words are - when you were the one being betrayed. It is easy to see the behavior in others. Here's the hard part - reverse the roles, and think of those relationships where you decided to end a relationship with someone you once cared for - whether it is a friend or a closer relationship.

It is now Holy Week - and it is time to mend fences. If you find yourself where you just don't care about someone anymore - get your act together and remember Jesus told us to love each. Even our enemies. But we are also called to love our friends, and those we no longer count as a friend. All too often - stuff ends up this way, because we feel guilty, over time anyway - and we can angry at others, because we don't enjoy feeling that way. Rise up out of the mire and reconcile. Ask Jesus for help - His hand is outstretched to help.

And - if you feel betrayed, know that you have a share of the blame for the relationship in need of repair. And offer mercy to the one who betrayed you. Love them anyway, even if there is a burden of sorrow that comes with it. This is what Jesus did for all of us. Follow Him - and get off the path called My Way. Follow Jesus.

The best way to lose your sorrow - is to heed the advice of the psalm in today's psalm reading and find refuge in God. And be merciful to those who hurt you.

For you are my hope, O Lord;
my trust, O God, from my youth.
On you I depend from birth;
from my mother's womb you are my strength.
R. I will sing of your salvation.

As I get close to the end of my Lenten Journey, I have to chuckle at myself on how the road has taken me from what I thought I going to do (travel a lot on the road), to what has actually happened over the course of the last several weeks. In truth, my Lenten Journey has covered a massive expanse of miles, but these miles were not made of asphalt and concrete and trips to the wilderness. The road has been much more of a journey inward, to a part of soul that I was led to. Very deep inside. This part of my soul has a profound yearning to draw closer to God, even if that means I have to die to get there, or get refined in a blazing fire. My faith in God, and my trust in God has grown. I had the courage to share many stories I bottled up inside, about how wonderful God has been to me. My journey has been following where I thought God was leading me. I honestly have tried to follow Jesus, wherever He led me. While it might appear that I lost my way, in truth - I hope I did lose My Way. I want to follow Jesus, not My Way. Here's a terrific song, written by a good friend named Lenny called Soul Searching. As Easter gets closer - I wanna be ready, just like the song says. The song was recorded at the studio where I work, and my buddy Frank was engineer and producer.

Monday of Holy Week

Today's readings: April 6, 2009
Reading One: Is 42:1-7;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 27:1, 2, 3, 13-14 ;
Gospel: Jn 12:1-11;
go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

When people are about to do things they are ashamed of, like how Judas yells at Mary, Lazarus' sister because she is putting perfumed nard on Jesus' hair and washing his feet, Judas yells at her saying that this money could have been saved for the poor. But today we learn of his real motivation - Judas was dipping in the money bag and getting stuff for himself. Often times, when we are so angry at others, we are really angry with ourselves.

Yet we all make mistakes - as we are all sinners. The important thing is to look at our response to our foolishness - how we react to our own sinfulness. Peter denied Jesus three times, and felt so terrible, he wept. In Peter's weakness - God gave Peter great strength. Read the Acts of the Apostles after Easter and see how Peter is totally different man. He won't deny who Jesus is, and furthermore - you will see how Peter becomes a man of great courage, as God gave him the strength to become brave. Contrast the reaction of Judas to his sinfulness. He falls into despair, because he cannot allow himself to reach out to God in his moment of darkness. Judas does not turn to God asking for mercy - he wallows in his despair and ultimately, takes his own life. Judas refuses to acknowledge God's greatness and has no understanding of God's mercy. Perhaps the saddest part about Judas, is that he might have become a great saint - if only he trusted more in God than his own opinion.

Palm Sunday of the Lord's Passion

Today's readings: April 5, 2009
Reading One: Is 50:4-7 ;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 22:8-9, 17-18, 19-20, 23-24 ;
Second Reading: Phil 2:6-11 ;
Gospel: Mk 14:1—15:47 or 15:1-39 ; go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

Listen to the readings. They are long readings, but very good words. Happy Palm Sunday. A day of rest. Ahhhh!

Saturday - fifth Week of Lent

Today's readings: April 4, 2009
Reading One: Ez 37:21-28;
Responsorial Psalm: Jeremiah 31:10, 11-12abcd, 13 ;
Gospel: Jn 11:45-56;
go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

Phew, last day before Holy Week. The home stretch. And there's still time. Time to go further and do those things you wanted to overcome and accomplish during Lent - but it hasn't happened yet. I hope this is a beneficial suggestion. 1) Focus on alms giving - there's a huge need at present. If you don't have the money, give up your skills and time to someone who needs your help. And 2) Focus on prayers. Find more time to set aside in prayer.

You still have some time left, and during Holy Week, you have all the reasons in the world to believe that your prayers will be answered, because your prayer is offered during Holy Week. My theory is that God is so powerful and infinite in scope, that as Easter arrives there an amazing concentration of power that makes itself known. All the Christians celebrating -WOOOOO! - which from our perspective is quite powerful, and it is - to us. But honestly, God is probably so much more massive in power - well, we can't even imagine it. Like we're an atom, and God is the sun. And I use that example because that was all I could initially imagine. Then, I wanted to make it different, edit that, & make it further apart. minus infinity to plus infinity. hahaha! I still can't do it.

Tap into God's power, spend more time in prayer and find the zone. Because there is a zone, but it takes time to find it. And you will have to turn off your tv, computer, or playstation. Try it.

When I started spending time in prayer, I realized most of my prayers were asking for something, a supplication is the fancy word. But you don't want to start out with that. The asking part. Find the zone. And practice.

There's a really good Catholic tradition, which is a simple formula for prayers. And it is a very good formula.

ACTS - A- Adore, C- Contrition, T - Thanks, S - supplication

Often I have the formula backwards STCA - which goes like.. oh God please do this, and I will be thankful, and admit I am unworthy, and then I will love and adore you. The STCA method doesn't work so well. It is a wavy line, and it is much harder to get to the powerful side of prayer. Personally I have found the ACTs to be a straighter line that will get you to the power sooner.

Prayer can become more powerful if you give it some time. We are told in scripture:

The prayers of a just man are a powerful thing

I believe that. And prayer is no different than snowboarding, playing music, dancing, whatever - if you devote a lot of time to it, then the endeavor will bear fruit.

I have more than a few things I had hoped to do, but didn't get it right just yet. Things about myself I needed to improve, things I was planning to do, or things I planned to give up, or change. I am guessing I am not alone here. Please join me, in spending more time with thankful prayers.

There's still time. Tomorrow begins Holy Week on Palm Sunday.

Friday - Fifth Week of Lent

Today's readings: April 3, 2009
Reading One: Jer 20:10-13;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 18:2-3a, 3bc-4, 5-6, 7 ;
Gospel: Jn 10:31-42;
go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

The volume gets louder and louder, like the thumpedy thump of a motorcycle engine with loud pipes as Jesus gets closer and closer to His day, that horrible day when He will die for all of our sins. How is it that some wish to put Him to death, and slander His Holy name, a name above all others - while countless other people will praise Him throughout the end of days. I regret my Lord, there were days when I didn't understand and was counted on the wrong side of this endless equation. But as I read the psalm today I recalled the day you saved me from death. And it wasn't the first time either. My prayer of sorrow and thankfulness came before you, and you heard me, and rescued me. And then, You held my hand, and You healed me.

The breakers of death surged round about me,
the destroying floods overwhelmed me;
The cords of the nether world enmeshed me,
the snares of death overtook me.
R. In my distress I called upon the Lord, and he heard my voice.
In my distress I called upon the LORD
and cried out to my God;
From his temple he heard my voice,
and my cry to him reached his ears.
R. In my distress I called upon the Lord, and he heard my voice.

Mt dear sweet Lord, you rescued me on December 10th, 2007 when I was riding my motorcycle home from work, getting off a little early to avoid the cold weather that comes as it gets dark in Decemeber. At the time, my heart was sad, but thanks to your love and comfort I was ok, just doing fine. No worries. While driving home on a 45 mile an hour two lane highway called Mt Holly-Huntersville road, a car pulled out from a side street on my right, to make a left turn. Darn, my pipes were not Vance and Hines Screaming Eagles, so he didn't hear me or see me for that matter (must have pushed the stealth button by accident I guess). Anyway, he pulled out to make a left turn right in my path. There was no time to react, I just tried to slow down, by braking and laying the bike down, I think that is what happened. I couldn't remember a thing. However, I do remember being thankful that I was not allowed to finish my sentence which began - What the... SLAM. I have no idea when the ambulance arrived or how long I was laying in the road, looking quite dead. My windshield, a GE Lexane piece of plastic was sliced in half, my front end bent like a paper clip. The bike was totaled. And so was I. When I regained consciousness in the ambulance, I remember my first thoughts. In a blurry empty place.

Oh my Lord, was this what it felt like? I am so sorry to have contributed, even in the smallest way. Forgive me, and remember me in Your Kingdom.

It was still blurry ... but I remember saying those words to myself. And then the blurriness receded, and I saw I was in an ambulance. The medics were talking about something, and I wanted to make sure I was still alive - so I asked them a question.

Does everyone still hate George Bush?

They paused, looked at each other, then let out a nervous chuckle, Yeah, everyone still hates George Bush. I was alive, still in the Earthly realm I thought to myself. And I thanked God for such a funny joke. I can be funny sometimes, but that was too good a joke for me. HA!

I was taken to a hospital - Oh NO! the same hospital where my buddy Frank was nearly killed by the treatment he received. All I wanted to do was get out of there, as soon as possible. Against my will, they performed a bunch of MRIs, and finally after much pleading, they put some drops in my right eye, which deadened the pain. I was also given a pain killer to ease the hurt of a crushed skull around my nose and right eye, and a few broken ribs, and a bunch of road scrapage from sliding before I hit the car. I still have a big indent in my right hip that looks like someone took an ice cream scoop into my leg 16 months later. Why this hospital I wondered - get me outta here! I sat in a hallway as they looked and looked through possible insurance carriers, to see if this poor slob had insurance that would cover the expenses, which were being charged for every second I was in their care. I was there for a few hours, and I would receive bills that would total over 10,000 bucks from the hospital, and the $700+ ride to the place where some very high dollar folks, were ummm ... looking out for me. Wow, that is the most expensive hallway I was ever in. And I have no intention of ever going back to that over-priced restaurant again. I never even got any food.

The next morning, I went to 7:00 am mass, looking a little nasty as Monsignor asked me politely if I would please wear sunglasses the next time I came to mass. It was hard getting out of bed, but after rocking back and forth a few times, I got the momentum to help myself out of bed. Mass was especially wonderful, as I knew the healing process had begun. How blessed I felt to know the feast day of St Lucy, patron saint of eyes was just a few days away. I would pray to her help because my eye felt like it was sliced in a million pieces.

I went to an eye doctor to have him look at it. He was a wonderful guy, and did a great job. Thank you, Dr. Spicola - my surfer dude eye guy from Ridgemont High. He explained to me, that the covering layer of the membrane on my eye was sliced into countless little pieces. HA! And he gave me a prescription for a bunch of different kinds of eye drops and told me I would probably need eye surgery. Nah, St. Lucy was hard at work with her sewing needle.

One day, a month or two later on follow-up visits to his office, I was asked by the receptionist to provide some answers to her questions. I told her I was in a motorcycle accident in early December. Her eyes got big... When? December 10th. Oh no, where? Mt Holly-Huntersville Rd I told her. She said, oh my God, I saw YOU lying in the road as I was going home. I was certain you were dead, and you were the first dead person I ever saw! I replied, well I hate to disappoint you! ahahaha. And I once again felt compelled to thank God for such a great comeback line. You see, I am not that funny, at least my kids tell me that all the time.

The truth is, the recovery felt like a sewing needle bobbing in and out of my eye. I imagined St. Lucy hard at work and prayed for comfort with all my strength. I would be fine, God willing. Thank you my Lord for saving... is all I can say.

Let me close again with a few tunes. This one, Funky Motorcycle was written in 1994 or 1995 and recorded in my garage. My buddy Frank is engineer and came up with the wicked bass line. I didn't have a bike at the time, never even rode on on the road yet for that matter. Kinda ironic, huh? It is about how hard it is to understand women. One day they are sweet, the next day they are like a cornered badger. Don't get me wrong, I think women are the greatest thing since sliced bread, well better than sliced bread - you know what I mean. But let's face it, women are hard to understand sometimes, for us men especially.

This next song is a song I wrote when Frank was in the hospital, called Sweet Raphael. When I sing it, and really mean it as a solemn prayer - I can't sing it without sobbing. Inexplicable groaning. Wailing like a woman in labor. I have sung this song so many times, with many many different names of friends I know who are sick, and in need of comfort and healing that can only come from God. I am helpless. But I can't just do that when a microphone is shoved in my face. But please know, I have song this song for Doug, Richard, Andy, Louise, Florence, Debbie, Vivian, Christine, Charlotte, Morgan, Peter, Pat, Rodrigo, Tom, Jennie, Kathy, Kate, Dave, Phoebe, Amy, and ad infinitum... the list is too long. I love you all so much. And yes, I have sung the song for myself, a sinner and a man in need of healing.

Thursday - Fifth Week of Lent

Today's readings: April 2, 2009
Reading One: Gn 17:3-9;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 105:4-5, 6-7, 8-9 ;
Gospel: Jn 8:51-59;
go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

Today gets us closer toward the final days before we begin Holy Week. During Holy Week, we are asked to take the journey to the next level and really focus on what changes we need to make in ourselves, to make us more pleasing in God's sight. The video reflections for today were very helpful for me. More time for prayer, more time works of charity, more time for drawing deeper and deeper into a loving relationship with God, and with all His children.

I find it hard to make any comments on today's readings. For some time, I have been sitting in front of my computer... with this... I got nothing feeling. I prayed about it, and I keep getting back to this same story, feeling like I am supposed to share it. So, the experience relates to the power of prayer, which is something, everyone could do more of, especially as we approach Holy Week. A few days ago, I mentioned a wonderful experience that happened on Dec. 3, the feast day of St. Francis Xavier. Now at the time this happened, I was not really in tune with this day being St. Francis Xavier's feast day, but when the day came around each year, I remembered what happened, and as such I made note of it. Many years later, a good friend who was a former student in a confirmation class (the one that called itself Azariah's prayer, from yesterday's post), wanted to go to Xavier. In truth, he is much more than a good friend to me, in a lot of ways, I like to think of him as a son I never had, because we have spent a lot of time together and he was been very helpful to me when I needed an extra set of strong hands. Yes, I love him. A Great kid. So, I found myself on November 13 last year praying before mass, and I realized I had not spent much, if any! time praying that he would, God willing, get into the college he wanted to go to. I felt badly for this, but I had gotten caught up in all kinds of daily pressures, as we all fall prey to from time to time. I came to this realization because it was the feast day of St Frances Xavier Cabrini, a.k.a Mother Cabrini who founded a ton of hospitals, schools and orphanages. So I said a prayer, it was really short, having just started to pray about it. Honestly, I think was no more that 25 words into the prayer - asking Mother Cabrini to please tug on St Francis Xavier's sleeve and ask him to help my buddy in his desire to go to Xavier. Then _BAM, a remarkable thing happened. I felt I got an answer, in that little voice that comes out of nowhere. It said - He's in, and he will get the news today. OK, Awesome! So, after mass I called his house and shared the prayer moment with his mom. It was right after mass about 8:00 am. Guess what - in that days mail, November 13th, he got the acceptance letter. BAM!

Rest assured, it has nothing to do with me, at the time I felt like I was so little, just a spec of dust is how I felt about myself in terms of being important. I also felt very blessed by God. Just be little, as young St. Theresa of Lisieux, the little flower liked to say. I was reading several books by another Teresa, St. Teresa of Avila, who offers amazing insights into prayers, and she said it much better than I ever could. She is the first female doctor of the Catholic church. Something like, the more humble you feel about yourself, the more powerful your prayers, since they are welcomed, just as a parent would listen more eagerly to a gentle, humble child than a brazen child who is noisy and prideful. It makes sense if you think about it. Be tiny. The least is the greatest.

The truth of the matter is, that when you share experiences like this with others, you are very likely to get responses that are quick to jump on you for NOT being humble. hahaha. There is an irony there, huh. Responses like - Who do you think you are, you are so arrogant, you are so annoying, shut up with your prayer stuff, you are supposed to pray alone in your room. It is easy to parse the bible in a way to attack, it happens every day. It took me a while, but I learned this too was a blessing. Because oddly enough, it'll keep you humble, when people tell you to just be quiet, get lost, shut up, especially if all you are trying to do is tell them how great God is, and only want to share something wonderful you feel, in hopes that they might seek the wonderful feeling, that God so freely gives, to His children who only want to love Him with everything they have to offer.

Anyway... time for me to stop for today. phew... I got something posted for today, when all I had to begin with, was nothing. ahhaha. Since St. Francis Xavier was a Jesuit, which was founded by St. Ignatius of Loyola - here's a prayer song of St. Ignatius' prayer - Dedication to Jesus.

Wednesday - Fifth Week of Lent

Today's readings: April 1, 2009
Reading One: Dn 3:14-20, 91-92, 95;
Responsorial Psalm: Daniel 3:52, 53, 54, 55, 56 ;
Gospel: Jn 8:31-42;
go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

The story offered in today's first reading and psalm will always be special to me, because of my experience teaching confirmation to wonderful group of children. We were asked to come up with a name for our group, and we chose Azariah's prayer. Now the three guys in the story - Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, were each given new names when they were captives in Babylon. Abednego is also named Azariah, so relax - if you knew the story, you would know that. And in the same way - each child in confirmation is given a new name, one they chose which is also their patron Saint. For me - my new name became Joseph. I picked St. Joseph because he was very wise, yet humble. He has no speaking part in the bible. I needed to learn this virtue, humility - and I certainly knew that all too well, but I digress. The story of Azariah's prayer is what I want to think about today.

These three gents are about to tossed into a raging fire. The fire is so hot - it burned up the soldier who was stoking the fire. HOT! They are about to die a terrible and frightening death. And instead of serving a false God, they do not relent, and choose being burned alive as opposed to bowing down before the king of this world - who was King Nebuchadnezzar, back in the day. Well, poor King Nebuchadnezzar is really really!!! mad at this - because he is so certain he is of his own greatness, and as such, orders everyone to bow down before his statue when the trumpet blows. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego refuse to do so.

Azariah offers such a beautiful prayer - first acknowledging his own foolishness, and apologizing to God for being an unworthy servant. He says - if God decides to let us burn alive, it is because we deserve it, due to our own sinfulness. But God is great and can do anything, and in all humility - Azariah asks God, if it is His will - to let them not burn alive. But God does is right. Let His will be done. God the Father hears Azariah's sweet prayer, and they see four men, not three in the fire. The fourth man, is called the Son of God in the story, a name that Jesus will be known by - hundreds of years later. The fourth person in the fire is also called an angel. Who is it? How am I supposed to know, I only know, or believe, that God came to their rescue, just as Jesus comes to our rescue. And they emerge from the fire, totally fine. They don't even smell like smoke. And when they are in the fire, they are seen to be dancing in delight. Having a great time in the land of Babylon as the song goes (see below).

The Gospel features Jesus telling the people - the Truth, the way it is, like it or not. If you loved the Father, you would not be trying to kill Jesus. You would hear His words, and know indeed that He comes with a message of love from God the Father. The reason they want to kill him - is because the words Jesus speaks shine a light on their own shame and sins. They hate their sinfulness, just as we all should should. The problem is - they blame Jesus for shining a light on this truth, instead of following the path and prayer of Azariah. All of us are given the same choice. And, judging from my own experiences - we will all be tossed into a fire of some kind during the course of life. My prayer today - is that people choose the prayer of Azariah, and not to bow down to the king of this world below. Jesus saves you from the fire - the king of this world is the one who throws you into it.

Years ago - a song was recorded in Charlotte, NC by The Golden Gate Quartet - at a small recording studio at Sharon Rd and Providence Rd, which is now Hotel Charlotte, a bar. I thought you might enjoy it. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego.

Tueday - Fifth Week of Lent

Today's readings: March 31, 2009
Reading One: Nm 21:4-9;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 102:2-3, 16-18, 19-21 ;
Gospel: Jn 8:21-30;
go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

Added some new pictures. Beauty every spring. God is great!

As Jesus gets closer and closer to the final leg of His journey on Earth as a man, he does His best to help people understand that He really is - the Son of God. For those who like books, and in this case, those people who were (and are) well versed in the old testament and Moses, he shares a parallel story of how Moses made a seraph serpent mounted on a pole to cure the Israelites who were bitten by the poisonous snakes, and how, likewise Jesus would be mounted on a cross. Unlike the old testament however - where all you had to do was look at it and you were cured, in the New Testament - you would have to believe, only your faith would save you, as it seems looking at Jesus on the cross would not be enough. His words are very cryptic if you are unfamiliar with the story of Moses as told in Numbers, but upon some reflection it is not rocket science to see the parallel. In John chapter 3, Jesus also mentions the story of Moses and the seraph serpent mounted on a pole to Nicodemus (verse 14, but read the whole chapter for context). It is fascinating to me - how so many people know the words of John 3:16, but have never heard of the story of Moses and the seraph serpent mounted on a pole, even though it is just two sentences preceding, and again mentioned in John Chapter 8 in today's reading. You can see one thing, but totally miss another clue as to how Jesus very clearly explains who He is, and why He came. As He explained before, Jesus said it would be harder for wise people to understand - for the simple, it was easy since they would believe without the need for intellectual consideration. But Jesus reaches out to the brainiacs, out of love and a hope that they might also come to believe. Certainly... to try to reverse engineer this whole story is beyond any logical assumptions of human nature and how people are. It is statistically implausible frankly.

Another message in today's reading comes from psalm 102, which tells how God is so close to the brokenhearted.

When he has regarded the prayer of the destitute,
and not despised their prayer.
R. O Lord, hear my prayer, and let my cry come to you.
Let this be written for the generation to come,
and let his future creatures praise the LORD:
"The LORD looked down from his holy height,
from heaven he beheld the earth,
To hear the groaning of the prisoners,
to release those doomed to die."
R. O Lord, hear my prayer, and let my cry come to you.

It is very comforting to know He is so available to those who hurt, those who weep, to those who have exhausted their own means to save themselves, and come to God crying out for help.

For the past few days, I have shared a personal story of how God has made Himself present in my life. I know things like this happen to many others, so please rest assured I do not think of myself as anything special, just one of many children. He loves us all.

This story occurred on Dec 3 - the feast day of St. Francis Xavier and happened during mass. During the consecration, the moment during mass where the priest invokes an ancient prayer, and asks in all humility for the Lord Jesus to make Himself present in the Eucharist. The Eucharist is the bread and wine, which becomes the Body and Blood of Christ during consecration. The word Eucharist - means thanks, and indeed we have so much to be thankful for such a kind, gentle and generous God. On Dec 3, I think the year was 2004 - a older friend of mine passed out and hit her head on the wooden kneeler in the small chapel where we celebrate mass. She was an older woman and she hit her head very hard. The priest, being obedient to what he must do continued the prayers as Terri and I went to her aid. Terri is a nurse and was taking her pulse, which was not registering at the moment as she shook her head and mouthed - nothing. Overwhelmed with the grief mentioned in today's psalm, I said a short prayer for my friend, and asked God, in a feeling of total helplessness - if it was His will, please let my friend spend Christmas with her family, but whatever Your will is Lord, let it be done. I felt something, similar to electricity, but nothing like a shock - it was some kind of power that came from outside me and nothing to do with me, but I felt it as sure as the sun comes up every morning and I feel the warmth on a summer day. My friend opened her eyes, and was back again. As I looked at her, I saw my dear Grandmother's face in her face. I was startled as I was not thinking about my Grandmother, it just happened. Later, when I went to work, I called my Grandmother to say hello as it had been several weeks since I had spoken with her. She was 102 at the time and a nurse answered the phone, and told me that my Grandmother was asking for me, hoping I would call. but she did not call me because she was concerned she might be bothering me at work. (ouch... did I put out this vibe - that I was too busy to speak with her, if so, I am terribly sorry for such a huge offense). I spoke with her for about 45 minutes and we each delighted in how deeply we loved each other. It was a wonderful call and I will never forget the kindness and love we shared. A few hours later, my Grandmother passed, and I felt so blessed to have been offered the chance to tell her one more time, how profoundly I loved her.

For her 100th birthday, my dear friend Frank - the guy in the post two days ago helped me make this video to honor such a wonderful lady. I was aided by everyone in my family, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews who provided pictures and stories, but mostly love. To better understand how much I loved my Gramma, watch the video below. But more important - talk to your family today - and tell them how much you love them. And thank God for your children, your parents and your grandparents while you are at it. Most important, tell God you love Him too - love Him with all your heart, all your mind, all your soul and all your strength.

Monday - Fifth Week of Lent

Today's readings: March 30, 2009
Reading One: Dn 13:1-9, 15-17, 19-30, 33-62 or 13:41c-62;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 23:1-3a, 3b-4, 5, 6 ;
Gospel: Jn 8:1-11;
go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

I love today's readings - the story in Daniel is like a biblical Perry Mason (Perry Mason was one of my favorite shows too, the old B&W tv shows, not the much later movies). And for the Gospel, you get two amazing readings - including the option where Jesus declares that He is the Light of the world, which I find pretty fascinating given the topic of Saturday's post, and no - I did not look ahead.

Today I was planning on sharing another amazing story - of how good God has been to me, and it involved Psalm 23 - again.... hmmmm interesting Holy Spirit synchronicity. A few years ago, I sat next an older gentlemen in his 80s named David. Like myself, David came to mass everyday and also liked to get in early to be still and pray. I learned a lot about prayer from David, as he showed me by his example, about prayer in a listening mode. Not the variety of prayer where you say prayers and ask God for assistance - but just being absolutely still and listening. But what I remember most about David, was his Irish accent, and the way he wished me well at the "kiss of peace" part of the mass after the Lord's prayer. I mean, I will never forget it - love just poured out of this sweet man as he said Peace be with you Willy, (imagine how sweet Willy sounded with an Irish brogue - it was delightful :~). Well - many years went by, and every now and then David would miss mass because of a doctor appointment conflict, or he was doing something for a friend or family member. One day this happened, and I really didn't think much of it.

But then, while I was being quite in prayer and listening - something amazing happened. Another one of those fugue states- but this time I was totally transported into a different place. First I went through a dazzling array of colors, and then some clouds, and through a beautiful natural area in the sky that was just to beautiful too explain. I was just watching from a distance, and I saw David. Suddenly Jesus appeared on a hill and ran toward David and gave him the biggest bear hug, clasped his hands and they did a wonderful dance holding hands and spinning in a tight circle. Jesus said to him, David - my dear friend. Welcome, how I have longed to dance with you and see your eyes twinkle when we got to see each other face to face. Then David just did the most amazing Irish kind of river dance and he was spry as a young lad as he smiled and wept happy tears. And then I woke up suddenly because the priest, Father Reid came in and began mass. It took me a few moments to pull outta of the waking dream, but I will never forget the colors - so many rich and swirling colors.

The next day I learned that David died yesterday and wasn't coming back to ever give me that warm greeting - Peace with you Willy (the Irish brogue Willy). And I was kind of sad,, but soon remembered the dreamy fugue state from the day before. I think I have shared this story with maybe one or two people - because it is just too remarkable for anyone to believe - in fact the people I told it to thought I was imaging the whole thing but I wasn't. And for some reason - I looked at the psalm from the day before. The response was - I found my servant David. And I think it only comes up once every 2 years as an option. I shared this with Father Reid - and when he shared the sad (and happy news) of David's passing - he shared with the small group that Willy pointed out the response from yesterday's psalm - I have found my servant David. For those of us who knew the quiet gentle Irishman, no one doubted for a minute - because if David wasn't getting into heaven, the rest of us were in deep trouble. hahaha. He was a wonderful man, and I still miss him but I will never forget how he would say - Peace be with you Willy. So - in David's memory - I wrote a song to remember psalm 23 (not the responsorial from that day, but one of my favorite psalms from King David). I picked that one, because his daughter, who I had never met before - asked me to read at David's funeral mass. She told me David just loved me so much, he would want me to read. I felt it every time he offered me peace. I loved him too. The responsorial for the funeral - was psalm 23. Here's the song I wrote to help remember how Psalm 23 goes. My apologies for singing so badly, but I do remember the words anyway - and was able to remember them when I was in the hospital with a family that asked if anyone knew how psalm 23 went.

Please say a prayer for Stewart, Peter, Charlotte, Jim, Florence, Louise, Jennie, Claire and Michelle, Sara, Katie, Brian and Jenn, and if you have time - please say a prayer for me.

Sunday - Fifth Week of Lent

Today's readings: March 29, 2009
Reading One: Ez 37:12-14 ;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 130:1-2, 3-4, 5-6, 7-8 ;
Second Reading: Rom 8:8-11 ;
Gospel: Jn 11:1-45 or 11:3-7, 17, 20-27, 33b-45 ; go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

I used the RCIA readings today (the alternate) so the audio file is from the other readings. Probably the same thing for the reflections. Anyway - you get a chance to check out both variations if you like.

Since the RCIA readings are about Lazarus, I will share with you a wonderful thing God did for me, not so you think anything about me is especially terrific, just read this blog... it is not at all about me. I am a silly man, and often times, an absolute fool. But all the same, God in His kindness, heard my prayer and answered it - and this is what this story is about. How great God is.

A dear friend named Frank got in a car accident, and broke his hip. No awful tragedy - but a huge pain. But then, things got very tragic, as my friend Frank had a wicked bacteria called C-Diff - eat his internal organs. Day after day, turned into week after week, and month after month. Dozens of operations, and for months Frank was in a coma. It reached a point where my prayers turned from hoping he get well, to asking God to take him home. It was all that bad and worse.

I asked a priest who is a dear friend if he would anoint my friend Frank with the rite of anointing the sick. He was willing, but obedient and told me he could not, as the rules did not allow the anointing if the person was not a Catholic. I was not angry, and understood full well the beauty of being obedient, and how in the past, God has rewarded my obedience with miracles and wonder. I was a little sad though, as my friend Frank was ... as Billy Crystal says in Princess Bride... mostly dead.

I visited Frank in the hospital day after day, and prayed for him. One day, I knew it was the last I might see him, and a prayer emerged from me from a place I did not even know existed. As a tear rolled down my cheek, I took my thumb, and soaked up the tear, and anointed Frank with my tear, making a cross on his forehead. And I said, You know my Lord, Frank has not always said the most charitable things about you, but for what it is worth, he was a friend to me. Please bless him, and keep him safe, and take him home if that is Your will. I left the room, thinking I had seen my friend for the last time.

The next day, Frank woke up from his coma, and over a long period of rehab, he is much much better. His life is not at all easy, as he lost many vital organs, and still has a ton of health issues to deal with. But I cannot thank You enough my dear Lord, for hearing my prayer and being so gracious. I share this story, hoping that it brings just one person closer to God, who is all good, and deserving of our Love.

Saturday - Fourth Week of Lent

Today's readings: March 28, 2009
Reading One: Jer 11:18-20;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 7:2-3, 9bc-10, 11-12 ;
Gospel: Jn 7:40-53;
go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

From time to time, something comes over me, and I go into something of a fugue state, where I feel like a spectator as I become overwhelmed with the thoughts in my head, combined with the events that are happening in the world around me. It is impossible to explain, but basically it involves a combination of what is happening between my ears, and things that are happening in the "real" world - that combine in the same kind of way as the two parts of epoxy. Alone, nothing is especially volatile, but when combined a new experience evolves as each substance acts as a catalyst to create something new. This other worldly parallel universe experience transpired as I wrote this post on Wednesday. I guess it feels like you are in the middle of a dream, but in truth you are awake in a dream state. It happens without any prodding on my part, it just goes down, and the only thing you can do is be as aware as possible, there is no way to fight it. There is nothing I can do, but as I mentioned before - it is like you are a spectator, as well as actor in a play that is in a show, that will go on, without any concern for your desire to watch the play as it unfolds. This fugue state experience went down on Wednesday, I wrote this paragraph on Friday, to help explain what happened and why my words seem so bizarre. But I thought it best to just leave the words as is, and let you make of it what you like.

(here's the fugue state words from Wed). As I read today's Gospel, my heart is broken. The events of long ago, killing a totally innocent person, happen each and every day and the country I live in, says it is okay to do this. What are you talking about you ask? I am speaking of abortion, knowing that words Jesus said apply in full force.

whatever you do for the least of you, you do to me.

On the day after the tragic anniversary of Roe vs. Wade, after the protesters left - the president signed into law again (after Reagan said NO, and Clinton said ok, and then Bush jr... said NO again)... an act allowing taxpayer dollars to fund abortions abroad. I am so sorry my Lord, you know full well how I have wept over this horror, You dried my tears and assured me there would one day be justice and this tragedy would stop. I trust You. But You also know - I still weep, so great is my sadness. Does my country believe that foreign children are less precious than our own? That is the implied message. This morning I saw this lovely video of a beautiful seven year old boy, sent to me by a good friend I haven't seen in 30 years. As I watched the video , for some reason, the little boy reminded me of You my Lord. Maybe it was the hair, or maybe it was the joy he exuded as he played his guitar. And as he played his guitar, I gently wept as I thought of all the songs that were not allowed to be heard. They were aborted.



The little boy named Lucciano is playing a Santana song called Samba Pa Ti, which has many meanings - but the most common one is:

Through every step in life; freedom comes from within.

I looked this up after I watched the video. Ironic, huh? And then I looked up the meaning of Lucciano. Guess what - it translates in English as:

light.

Didn't Jesus say: I am the light of the world? Ironic again? Nope, I do not think so - for me it doesn't surprise me at all. I am not afraid to call such things - Holy Spirit moments. And I know this post will produce the exact same reaction in the hearts of many men and women as told by St. John in today's Gospel. They will hate me for my words today.

Look and see that no prophet arises from Galilee."
Then each went to his own house.

But thanks to the amazing love and peace you freely give to those who have trust and faith in You Lord, I will be okay. You always dry my tears. You know I come to You for refuge. Everyday. And everyday, I ask You for mercy, for me and my sinfulness, and for my brothers and sisters. And for forgiveness. And the grace to forgive. They know not what they do. In case you missed yesterday's prayer song - A Prayer to St. Michael, here it is again. It seems appropriate.

Friday - Fourth Week of Lent

Today's readings: March 27, 2009
Reading One: Wis 2:1a, 12-22;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 34:17-18, 19-20, 21 and 23 ;
Gospel: Jn 7:1-2, 10, 25-30;
go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

We move closer and closer each day of Lent on a road of peace, and are given a choice, another chance - to pick which side of our duel nature we want to be. Day after day, with each day gone forever, the stakes get higher, the consequences of our actions today building upon a brighter future, or greater acts of futility. Will you be on the side that listens, and chooses to take refuge in God, forgive those who have caused you hurt and pain, & let it go ... or will you hold onto your opinion of your own righteousness, and the cancer that comes from the guilt, the shame and the inability to forgive. It is easy to look at all these things and see the transgressions of others - it is much more difficult to look at your own foolishness, and to ask God for help, and choose the path that on the face of it - a road that appears to be a path of destruction and violent death. It is violent. In truth, we get to choose a death to our own foolishness, or not. What awaits is rebirth, the life that comes from believing in God, seeking refuge in His words, and in His love. The salvation you seek, comes in doing what Jesus did - die to yourself for others. Forgiveness, mercy, and trusting in God alone leads to the treasure, The Kingdom of Heaven, which as - as He said - at hand. Now.

I am on the non-proverbial road today and tomorrow, a road that leads to Milwaukee, via Detroit - so today's comments are brief. Please pray for those you love, and tell them that you love them. And pray to God for the grace to forgive those who have hurt you. Take refuge in God, and He will rescue you from all your troubles. He will even rescue you from yourself.

Let me leave you with another song, a way to remember a prayer, in this case, another ancient prayer - St. Michael's Prayer. St. Michael is a archangel, like Gabriel the archangel - God's messenger. St. Michael the archangel is also known as God's Strength. A "heavy" prayer, not conducive to a song, which of course meant, I had to try. ahaha. Here it is, A Prayer to St. Michael.

Thurday - Fourth Week of Lent

Today's readings: March 26, 2009
Reading One: Ex 32:7-14;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 106:19-20, 21-22, 23 ;
Gospel: Jn 5:31-47;
go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

It all depends on how you read, or how your heart listens to the words in today's Gospel. It is easy to read the words in a way that comes off as harsh words, words condemning the listener, perhaps a little angry or really angry. Or maybe just upset, like a parent who is upset with a stubborn child and scolding it before sending the insolent child to their room. But maybe the words are offered in a different tone. I do not know, but I imagine Jesus saying these words - reaching out in a soft tone, trying to merely inform people He loves them dearly, what the truth is. He really is the Son of God. He is only trying to help you understand so that you might believe something that is true. Follow the dots - John the Baptist testified Jesus as the Christ. God himself testified, but you did not listen. And so does Moses, yes even the words in the old testament point to Jesus.

Jesus does not have to glorify himself. He is going to take all the miracles He performed, and the people He healed, and all His perfect words, and because we are so stubborn, and His love is so great - He will show us one more time, once and for all, and for all time, show us how much God loves each and every one of us. And if you blessed to see that, you are called to see everyone that way as well.

When we do this - we will finally be following Jesus' simple command - all the law we need to understand, and follow:

is to love God with all your heart, all your mind, all your soul and all your strength.

If we do that, we also will love our neighbor in a new way. Love them as God loves each and every one of us struggling creatures. Perfectly, without fear, pouring out like a fountain.

The blessings that come from following the law are untold treasures, beyond what words might convey. Imagine for just a moment - the love that dwells within God, endless, infinite, boundless love pouring out of your heart in galactic proportions. Love that can only come from God it is so good. Even in the darkest hours of the human condition - sickness, broken hearts, shattered dreams, and wounded souls - there's no room for despair to even get a foothold. That love burns it up and everything dark, is made light.

Solemnity of the Annunciation of the Lord

Today's readings: March 25, 2009
Reading One: Is 7:10-14; 8:10;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 40:7-8a, 8b-9, 10, 11 ;
Reading Two: Heb 10:4-10
Gospel: Lk 1:26-38; go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

Today marks one of the greatest days of the year for the Catholic Church, the Solemnity of the Annunciation of the Lord, where Gabriel the archangel, also known as God's Messanger, is sent to the little 14 or 15 year old girl named Mary, who is betrothed to Joseph, a good man from the line of King David. Gabriel first calls Mary by a new name she has never heard before, and says to her - Hail, full of Grace, the Lord is with you". These words will be uttered countless times in the rosary, probably until the end of time, but the words are new to young Mary, and she is frightened by the greeting. Gabriel tells her not be afraid, and that she has found favor with God. Then Gabriel tells her something that is totally fantastic - that she will bear a son, and His name will be Jesus. I suspect Mary knew of the words of the prophet Isaiah, provided in the first reading today - but she was still confused. So, with a tender and gentle heart - she asks Gabriel - How can this be, since she has had no relations with a man. Her words are the same words as Zechariah, which come earlier in the first Chapter of Luke - How can this be? But Zechariah said it with an air of - oh come on, give me a break - alluding to the fact that his wife Elizabeth is an older woman, and barren, past her child bearing years. Zechariah will not be allowed to speak another word until the baby, John the Baptist is born (or Elijah the prophet, for those who can accept it). But Mary's - How can this be? is uttered with innocence, as a person who does not understand, and asks for help understanding. She speaks with tenderness and humility, a virtue and grace from God offered to Mary as a generous gift, and I believe Mary knows this humility is a gift, a gift she uses in a moment of confusion, concern, and perhaps even total fear.

The words might easily be construed as a death sentence, because back then, an unmarried women having a child out of wedlock was often stoned, especially if the husband to be, made any kind of noise about it. (see Joseph's response from last week's solemnity of St. Joseph, Husband of Mary on March 19 - He was a righteous man). Knowing all these things - in an act of total faith, and love, and the deepest trust and hope one can have in God being awesome, wonderful, and above all things, loving - she quietly bows her head, and says:

May it be done to me according to your word.

Similar words will also be uttered by her beloved Son, Jesus the Christ when he is alone in prayer in the garden, knowing full well what tomorrow will bring, his friends sound asleep, even though Jesus asked them to keep Him company. It is there, some 30 plus years later - where the sentiment of those words are uttered again after Jesus asks God (LK Ch22 v41),

Father, if you are willing, take this cup away from me; still, not my will but yours be done.

Over the past eight years, I have blessed beyond what words might convey, to have spent many many hours in prayer. Why, believe it or not, I might even have spent more time in prayer than in front of a television, though maybe not since I did not keep a score. In any event, I share this experience of my prayer time, not from any boasting on my part, in truth, I was great need of help, and I was blessed to know where to look for help. I prayed out of a profound knowledge of my own shortcomings, feeling that I was the sheep that got caught in the barbed wire fence, and carried back to the flock on Jesus' broad shoulders. The man with the great debt, unable to ever pay it back, who was still so twisted and mistaken to be tough on others who I felt owed me something. It was from a profound understanding of my weakness, that I prayed. Anyway - I wish to share something that I learned during this time. The most wonderful way to close any prayer, especially those prayers concerning your true treasures, those treasures carried in your heart - is to end the prayer with the words offered by Mary and Jesus her Son, whatever your will is, let it be done to me. You can say it many different ways of course - I am suggesting that you offer the words from the heart, not from memory. If it is something really serious that you are praying about, you are scared because your child, spouse or a friend is very sick, you are confused about what to do and wish to do God's will above your own, and you are scared what the answer might be, you are feeling terrible because you are having great difficulty forgiving a wrong done to you, ... when your prayers are so deep and come from a place of total need, and a knowledge of your own weakness to fix the problem - add that short phrase to your prayer. Whatever your will is God - do it to me, and let my will, be Your will. I do not have enough time or space or energy to detail all the gifts and blessings that have come from saying those few words, but I can tell you with all honesty - adding that short phrase to my prayers, changed my life in ways beyond anything I even hoped for, or could imagine. Gabriel said it best when he told Mary:

for nothing will be impossible for God.

These prayers are heard, and answered. Sometimes - you get immediate results. Other times, you will learn that God's time is not our time, because to God, a thousand years is like batting an eye. But I do know this, that my faith in God being the most wonderful loving God of my wildest dreams, was nothing compared to how great and wonderful a loving God He always proves Himself to be, if you just put yourself in His hands.

I would also like to add some prayer guidance offered by Jesus in John Ch. 16 - to ask God the Father for anything in Jesus' name, and when doing so, understand that you and your will might be mistaken as to what God's will is. By all means, ask in confidence whenever you ask the Father Jesus' name. But have the humility of understanding your own neediness and weakness, and never forget to add, not my will but yours be done.

Here's a few prayers related to today's reading. As I mentioned before, I have trouble remembering prayers, so I try and make a song out of the prayer to help me remember. There's an added benefit that comes from how singing a prayer is like praying twice, and that when you sing, it comes from a deeper region in your heart. Now I know I cannot sing that well, but I am pretty sure God is more concerned about what my heart is feeling, than the words I utter in prayer. Just ask Zechariah. haha. The first prayer song is called Loving Mother of the Redeemer which mentions the meeting between Gabriel and the the Blessed Virgin Mary. By sheer coincidence, I learned this was Father Tim's favorite prayer. One of the oldest prayers of the church, it was first written in Latin and called Alma Redemptoris Mater. Short and sweet, like Psalm 131 offered in an earlier post, it is like an onion with countless layers to explore if you are a nudge like me who likes to peel things apart. The next prayer is The Canticle of Zechariah, which you can read more about in Luke Ch. 1. The prayer is also called the Benedictus, and the words are said as part of the morning prayers of all Catholic priests. I asked Monsignor Richard what his favorite was, and he shared with me that it was Benedictus, so I made up a song with the words to help me learn it. There are about a thousand better songs with the same words, with more on the way, but the Benedictus version offered here is a version I made up, only so I could remember it, and know it, and offer it from my heart.