My Lenten Journey

Hi good friends, strangers, brothers and sisters

The best way to read this blog is to start at the beginning, and read it in sequential order. The links to the readings for each day offered in daily mass should still work fine, though I suspect a lot of the video and audio files will no longer work as the links expire. Oh well... like I said - check the readings link one by one, and go to the USCCB.org web site to follow the readings. These links go straight to the St. Joseph's bible at USCCB, and as far as I know - the links should work just fine. The story comes with pictures, songs, and a wide open honesty.

To fully explore the Lenten Journey - you really need to read the readings before you read the text from the Lenten Journey blog. Otherwise, I suspect - it will make absolutely no sense. I am not being obtuse about all this - but for the most part, the daily writing is inspired by what the readings were for each day.

Once you start to the beginning - to go to the next day, all you need to do is click the NEWER POST link at the bottom of the blog entry to follow the story in chronological order. The story is best read this way, as you will be able to see how things changed over the course of time, and I hope - see how all I did during the course of my trip - is to try and be obedient to what I felt I was being asked by God to do each day. Toward the end of the story - some of the reflections relate to sharing very personal experiences of how God has touched my life, and how I knew - by faith - that God is with me. This was probably the hardest part, as like most people - I like to keep private things private. But in all honesty, I felt that God was asking me to share some things that are hard to share. The reason they are hard to share - is all too often, the listener I shared them with, would think think I was insane, or that I had lost my mind. In truth... it did happen in the way I described, and I did my best to honestly share these experiences - which of course would be colored by how I see the world, but I assure you, I am just as sane as the next man. Another very difficult part of my Lenten Journey was that some of my closest friends, came to the conclusion that I had lost my mind. And this conclusion was shared with others, who whispered these things in secret, to other friends who in turn felt compelled to keep me at a safe distance. How sad - I was ostracized by many of my dearest friends, and perhaps even some family members for sharing how wonderful God has been to me. So wonderful it makes my joy complete, it makes want to sing, it fills my heart with boundless love. I know, Jesus tells me to rejoice and be glad when this happens, because my reward in heaven will be great. And I tried to remember this. And tried to be like Peter in Acts of the Apostles, who was thrilled and thankful to have been beaten and whipped for his love of Jesus. I regret my Lord I was not a very worthy servant in this regard. It hurt me to the core to be forsaken by those I loved most, and my response was not to rejoice, but instead to cry. It hurt. And it hurt worse, because it created a feeling of justification for some, to treat me very badly. Forgive them Lord, and forgive me. Please grant me the grace to increase my faith, that I might respond in the way you ask me too. To be thankful and rejoice when I suffer insult for love of You. Obviously, I still have a long way to go.

But enough of my wimpy ways.. ahhaha - please read the story of a foolish man's walk in faith, and How God changes our lives each and every day. But please - start at the beginning, just as you would any story, and read it it order. And if you wish to read the blog - you have to read the readings at the top of the page, if you might ever hope to understand how God was with me on my journey, and I hope, you will have your eyes opened and see how God is with you too. He's there for you, I am not special, but for some reason I do not understand, nor have I done anything to earn it - but for some reason, God has allowed my eyes and heart to see things others are blind to. Which is kind of ironic, since in the worldy measure, I am legally blind. Now ... bypass the blog post below, and start at the beginning on February 17, 2009. Read the scripture first, and at the bottom of the post... click the NEWER POST link to turn the page. Yes, I repeated this instruction because I am aware how people read things online.

Today's readings: April 13, 2009
Reading One: Acts 2:14, 22-33;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 16:1-2a and 5, 7-8, 9-10, 11 ;
Gospel: Mt 28:8-15;
go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

Well, I actually took the day off for Monday and am posting this on Tuesday. Forgive me... I forgot that Easter is such a HUGE celebration - we, as Catholics feel compelled to celebrate Easter for a long time. Especially the first week after Easter, and in truth... every day until Pentecost. Every day till our last breath.

But, I need to get back to my life and job - so officially, I ended the daily posts on Easter Sunday. As I reflect back on my Lenten Journey, it was really a wonderful trip. It began as something of a road trip, and ended up as a journey on a road of faith. Much more internal and spiritual, where I just tried to do what was asked of me, following nothing more than what I believed in my head and heart - the things God asked me to do. That's why during one week, I shared so many personal experiences. Something I read hit a nerve, and told me to share a few wonderful blessings, of how I knew God was with me on my walk through life.

Before the trip began, this same external voice told me something very scary. I shared it with only two people. The voice said:

You know you are going to die.

When I first heard it, I was very frightened, because so many times - this voice told me quite clearly what lay ahead on the road I walked on. I mean - REALLY way too far out to be even a statistical phenomena, or to come from me. Strange words, nothing to do with my internal ramblings at the moment. These Words are always extremely brief... very few words, but words that carried such a power & weight, you couldn't ignore them. Something was afoot. Pay attention! I had recently read a few books written by St Teresa of Avila, and she explains it better than I could. If you are interested in how to recognize God's voice - read her biography, The Seven Castles and The Way of Perfection. She's quite a quirky gal, but she knew how to tune in God, and tune out the world. The inverse of Timothy Leary - HA!

So on Easter Sunday - as I went out in the afternoon to take some pictures of the beautiful and glorious day, I was riding on Catawba Avenue, near I-77 and Cashion's Quick Mart. I figured that the words I heard - You know you are going to die, was just a weird internal self freak-out kinda thing, a product of my fears. I had almost forgotten all about it, Easter was here - and I was alive and well. We are going to die after all.

But the words actually spared my life. I did what I thought God was asking me to do, even if it meant I would die in the process. A much deeper leap of faith than I have ever had the pleasure of experiencing. Sure... this all sounds too weird, but all the same, I am telling you the truth. On Catawba Avenue, at about 4:00 PM, a large van pulled out on my left, racing to get in front of the car behind me. Excuse me... if you try and merge now, it will be over my dead body buster! I was invisible to him (darn, stealth button engaged). It was a very, very close call... but I was ok and nothing happened - other than the guy behind the wheel of the van found how big he could make his eyes pop out of his head, a little burned rubber on the road, but no collision or motorcycle hitting pavement. I was very thankful for God's shield, that kept me safe. He was indeed with me. I was so thankful to be alive.

And yet, in many ways - I did die. To things mostly related to fear, stuff that kept me from living the gift of life as fully as I might. A transformation - similar to what happened to St. Peter after the Resurrection. Parts of me that had gone into a kind of zombie state of fear were no more. I was really alive in a way I can't do justice explaining. It feels wonderful. My faith in God burst through to a new level of grace. And prayers asking to help my unbelief were answered in ways beyond anything I could imagine. How thankful I find myself today, as I am really living in a new light. God is great !!!

Check the pictures I took on Easter Sunday after another near brush with death. Truth is - we are all going to die. Better start living my friends - time is short, but the time is sweet when you walk in the light of God's love.

And so - this my is my last post. I will leave you with a great suggestion - something I have done for many years now, with great blessings that have come from a miniscule level of effort. Read the Acts of the Apostles between now and Pentecost. See what a different man Peter is. We all remember how he denied Jesus three times - but check what happened to him, after he wept and begged God for forgiveness. He was a totally new man, a guy you wouldn't even recognize as the same man. I am sure God is thrilled to do this to you as well.

Easter Sunday The Resurrection of the Lord

Today's readings: April 12, 2009
Easter Sunday The Resurrection of the Lord -
The Mass of Easter Day
Reading One: Acts 10:34a, 37-43 ;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 118:1-2, 16-17, 22-23 ;
Second Reading: Col 3:1-4 or I Cor 5:6b-8;
Gospel: Jn 20:1-9 or Mk 16:1-7 or Lk 24:13-35;

go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

Listen to the readings. Have a wonderful Easter. Be joyful and thankful. Love each other. My Lenten Journey is now complete. Thank you for everything. A day of rest. Ahhhh!

The wonderful news, for Catholics, we celebrate Easter all week! So great is our joy, we can't just wrap it up in one day. Go to daily mass this week - it is Easter all week long! God is great and worthy of your praise and thanksgiving. Let the entire world sing with joy!



Or if you prefer something more olde school - Here's the full Catholic Mass, celebrated in Chicago, 1941 at Our Lady of Sorrows Church.



Something older above - something newer below. I love kids!



Or something, non-Catholic with a wonderful uplifting, and rocking beat.



Happy Easter. Give thanks, rejoice and be glad! God is GREAT!!!

Easter Vigil in the Holy Night of Easter

Today's readings: April 11, 2009
Easter Sunday The Resurrection of the Lord -
At the Easter Vigil in the Holy Night of Easter
Reading One: Gn 1:1-2:2 or 1:1, 26-31a ;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 104:1-2, 5-6, 10, 12, 13-14, 24, 35 ;
Second Reading: Gn 22:1-18 or 22:1-2, 9a, 10-13, 15-18 ;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 16:5, 8, 9-10, 11 ;
Reading Three: Ex 14:15-15:1 ;
Responsorial Psalm: Ex 15:1-2, 3-4, 5-6, 17-18 ;
Reading Four: Is 54:5-14 ;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 30:2, 4, 5-6, 11-12, 13 ;
Reading Five: Is 55:1-11 ;
Responsorial Psalm: Is 12:2-3, 4, 5-6 ;
Reading Six: Bar 3:9-15, 32C4:4 ;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 19:8, 9, 10, 11 ;
Reading Seven: Ez 36:16-17a, 18-28 ;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 51:12-13, 14-15, 18-19 ;
Epistle: Rom 6:3-11 ;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 118:1-2, 16-17, 22-23 ;
Gospel: Mk 16:1-7 ;

or go to this page (for all the sections listed above, with options on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

The Easter Vigil Mass is probably the best mass of the year. For me it is anyway. If you have never experienced an Easter Vigil Mass, try it out this year. You will not be disappointed.

Nothing to add - just do the readings, or listen to the mp3. Happy Easter - spread the Good News!!!

Here's some music, depending on your taste. You can go with something more rocking



Something really joyful, rocking and global



or if you want a Gregorian Chant,



HAPPY EASTER !!!!

Good Friday of the Lord's Passion

Today's readings: April 10, 2009
Reading One: Is 52:13—53:12 ;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 31:2, 6, 12-13, 15-16, 17, 25 ;
Second Reading: Heb 4:14-16; 5:7-9 ;
Gospel: Jn 18:1—19:42 ; go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

May your heart be changed as you listen or read God's Word today. I hope your Lenten Journey was beneficial and that you renewed and strengthened your love and appreciation of God. If not, Change. Like the spring buds popping about everywhere, blossom and find new life. Ask God for the grace to enjoy your own springtime, and ask to be renewed in your love of God, your love of others, that your heart might find new heights of thankfulness, and that He helps you with your unbelief.

I hope the changes you made leave you feeling happier, and that you continue to grow in Holiness and not slip into old habits. Don't give up. God can do the impossible, keep asking for help when you need it. When you are most in need, He is closest to you. Spend more time in prayer, please. It is so beneficial, but you have to find time to get to the treasures. And sing your prayers, in your home when no one is around, or if others are around. Pray and don't be afraid to sing your prayers.

Prayer does not change God, but it changes those who pray.
Soren Kierkegaard

The Catholic church offers two services on Good Friday. The Veneration of the Cross, and in some parishes, there is also a Tenebrae service. You learn more about that here.

Today is a sad and mournful day. I remember growing up, how so many times, the sky would turn dark around 3:30 PM, and often just pour down rain. There were even a few years where it was a nice sunny day in the morning, and then in the middle of the afternoon, the sky would darken in the ominous way. A reminder of who is in charge of the weather. I wonder what today will bring? (ed - Friday, EST - 1:33PM, dark, overcast - downright lugubrious).

In case you were wondering, scripture tells us Jesus was crucified at Golgotha, the Valley of the Skull. Calvary is Latin for skull or so I remember reading somewhere. So where is it? Well, in truth, no one can really be certain, but after a little research, I think it is close to or at one of the Church of the Holy Sepulchre. Now there are a bunch of churches with that name around Jerusalem, but if you check google maps, doing a search of Church of the Holy Sepulchre, you can look at the one with the marker - A, which contains the following text in the description.

The Church of the Holy Sepulchre , also called the Church of the Resurrection, by Eastern Christians, is a Christian church within the walled Old City of Jerusalem.The site is worshiped by most Christians as Golgotha,(the Hill of Calvery), where as the New Testament says that Jesus was crucified, and is said to also contain the place where Jesus was buried (the sepulcher).

Here is an interesting read on the subject of Where was Golgotha?

I thought I would close with a wonderful blues video by Roy Buchanan, offering a wonderful rendition of the blues tune - The Messiah Will Come Again. Hang in there, and remember how it is often dark and scary sometimes in life. Have Faith! The darkest hour is often right before the dawn.

Holy Thursday - Chrism Mass & Evening Mass of Lord's Last Supper Mass

Today's readings: April 9, 2009
Holy Thursday, Chrism Mass
Reading One: Is 61:1-3a, 6a, 8b-9;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 89:21-22, 25 and 27 ;
Reading Two: Rv 1:5-8;
Gospel: Lk 4:16-21;

Today's readings: April 9, 2009
Holy Thursday, Evening Mass of the Lord's Supper
Reading One: Ex 12:1-8, 11-14;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 116:12-13, 15-16bc, 17-18 ;
Reading Two: 1 Cor 11:23-26;
Gospel: Jn 13:1-15;


In Charlotte, the Chrism Mass was on Tuesday and I lucky to be there to celebrate. The Chrism mass comes once a year where all the priests, deacons, nuns, religious, and seminarians from all over the diocese come together to celebrate mass and bless the Holy Oils used in baptism, annointing the sick, marriage, Holy Orders, and confirmation.. It was a wonderful and memorable experience.

Thursday night is also the night of the Evening Mass of the Lord's Supper. This will be the last day to celebrate mass until Good Friday, the only day of the year no mass is offered. God's Word reflects upon service of others, and for service of others needs - made perfectly clear by Jesus who washes the feet of His disciples. The greatest of all, God Himself, humbles Himself to wash the feet of His fellow men. Jesus is both God and man. But this night, He washes our lowly feet, as God. And as a brother, a man. In the Catholic church, we follow the structure of the mass as a solemnity with the added rite of Jesus washing the feet of his disciples. After mass, there will be adoration until midnight. Then the blessed sacrament will be be taken away for the long and difficult day, Good Friday. The choir sings traditional songs of lament in minor keys. The focus is strongly on what Jesus will have to endure, and it is a very solemn mass.

If you would like to see a view from above of the Garden of Gethsemane - Check this link out. Then select a satellite view.

Wednesday of Holy Week

Today's readings: April 8, 2009
Reading One: Is 50:4-9a;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 69:8-10, 21-22, 31 and 33-34 ;
Gospel: Mt 26:14-25;
go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

Today's readings are so powerful to me. Especially the first reading from Isaiah. How deeply these words are written into heart. And they are very comforting words when you find yourself in a place where others are disparaging you with harsh words.

In early February 2002 on Ash Wednesday. I arrived home and found a large packet in the mail. I recognized the name of the return address, because I knew the name of the man on the outside of the envelope. He had once done some work for me, in that instance - he was asked to defend me in a battle that was being waged against me. But in this case, the man's name on the outside of the envelope was not representing me, he was in an adversarial role. While I thought I knew what was inside, I was mistaken. The contents included all kinds of slanderous lies about me, and the words cut to the deepest part of my heart. A day or two later, my dad was kind to me, and explained that this is what those people do. That is what they are paid for. Don't take it personally.

But as I read the words for the first time, I feared that all kinds of terrible ramifications would unfold, making a difficult situation unbearable. Thank God in His kindness to me, that my fears were not realized. I was thankful however, knowing My Lord is with me. And that I was blessed to find safety in God's kindness, just as the psalm said thousands of years ago - blessed the man who takes refuge in the Lord. It was true for me. I had a rock to hold onto when the waves came crashing upon me.

As I continued to read the words in the big package, I became overwhelmed with the harsh words, fears of what might be and and got tears in my eyes. My neighbor saw me on the front step as she went to retrieve her mail, and came over to console me. She asked if everything was ok, and I said no. I shared with her the contents - and read some of the things that were said about me. It was so unfair. And I was filled with fear. Sorrow gushed into my soul.

And then the most bizarre thing happened. A pack... or I guess it would be a swarm, of termites flew over my head like a black cloud and began to search for any crack they could find to get into my house. On my front door! I mean there were thousands of them, and it was right over my head. While this might be really creepy to others, to me it was hilarious. I burst out laughing, held my hands up toward the sky as I addressed my sweet God. I asked God a simple question, not angry... but in a Jewish voice, Mel Brooks kind of way:

What - are we getting biblical here?

And just laughed hysterically, I mean what was I supposed to do? My God knows me, He was there when He knit me in my mother's womb, and He knows when I sit, and when I stand. I knew, God knew me... & that He knew, I would find it hilarious. So, I told my neighbor that there will be plenty of time to feel sorrow, but right now I had to go to Lowes hardware, get some chemicals from Elizabeth, New Jersey, and TCB (that's Take care of business to all those unfamiliar with Aretha Franklin's R-E-S-P-E-C-T). So I went to Lowes, and all I could think about was how odd it was, the timing so impeccable, and how I had never seen anything like it before. I was thankful. HA!

At the same time in 2002, I was in the middle of becoming a Catholic, and I was going to the RCIA classes since August. Before this all happened, I began going to daily mass, and always folded my hands to receive a blessing from the priest. Each day during mass, there was part during the mass that was so special to me for some unknown reason.

Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed.

For me, that was my moment in mass when I received God's grace. I also felt blessed by the priest's blessing, but those words cut so deeply inside me, I will never forget power of that one sentence. Years later I learned what Jesus had to say about those words, and felt further blessed.

Well, it was about 10 days later, after I received the divine love swarm of termites, which all perished under the toxic Jersey chemicals I purchased from Lowes that day. Ten days later, I was asked to meet with the priest after mass, who told me I have bad news for you. I wondered what have I done now? Yes, I have done some stupid things in my life, in truth, too many to list, but I was changing fast. Honestly, I was feeling like I was being cleansed of all my sinfulness. Turning from blood red, to beautiful white. I couldn't think of anything I had done, so I wondered what the bad news was. He shared with me, with a very sad face - that I could not become a Catholic with the rest of my RCIA class, because of some issues on my RCIA application. He apologized that he did not see it earlier and was very gentle and loving about it.

For some people, that would have been it. It is over, bye bye Catholicism. But I remembered my special time in mass, when I said those words. That powerful sentence that reassured me, that God was there for me. I told the priest it was ok, I understood, and learned something wonderful about obedience before God, and obedience to the church. I did not know it at the time, but I learned God would make things right, and bless me beyond what words might convey, for being a gentle lamb.

A few weeks later, the same priest again called me into his office after mass. For those two weeks, I was not allowed to receive, or share in this divine food and drink. Furthermore, I was led to believe that I would not be allowed to share bread at the table of God, for a long long, time. People had told me it usually takes years to clear up such things. Again... more fears that would not come to pass. The priest told me, that in my case he was able to apply existing Canonical Law in a way that provided me a loophole of sorts. Hooray, Perry Mason of Canonical Law to the rescue! It is too crazy to share, and somewhat ironic as well - but I remember I was so happy to hear the good news. I would be blessed to eat this divine food and drink, the body and blood of Jesus at Easter. Oh how thankful I was. God is great.

It was during that two week window - when I was not sure if I would ever be allowed to become a Catholic - that I heard the words of Isaiah for the first time. Perhaps I heard them before, but at this time - my heart was ready to actually hear the words. The seeds finally fell on fertile ground. And the words provide great comfort. Just hang in there.

The Lord GOD has given me
a well-trained tongue,
That I might know how to speak to the weary
a word that will rouse them.
Morning after morning
he opens my ear that I may hear;
And I have not rebelled,
have not turned back.
I gave my back to those who beat me,
my cheeks to those who plucked my beard;
My face I did not shield
from buffets and spitting.

The Lord GOD is my help,
therefore I am not disgraced;
I have set my face like flint,
knowing that I shall not be put to shame.
He is near who upholds my right;
if anyone wishes to oppose me,
let us appear together.
Who disputes my right?
Let him confront me.
See, the Lord GOD is my help;
who will prove me wrong?

The words were of course speaking about Jesus, and the suffering He would endure as part of His passion and death. And they are comforting words to anyone in the middle of tough times, especially if you find yourself filled with fears of what might happen. Often times, it is the fear that is the hardest part to bear of a difficult situation, and it is such a blessing to know where to find refuge.

About five years later, I shared this passage from Isaiah with a dear, sweet girl who poured her heart out to me. And she shared her sorrow with total openness, and I hoped my listening was helpful as I tried to assuage her concerns about what others might think or say. For some reason - those words from Isaiah came back to me in a tidal rush, and I hoped and prayed they would bring her comfort in her trials, just as the words comforted me, many years before. I found a Bible and shared them with her. So many times in life, we are able to help each other out, just by listening. And if you find yourself at a loss for words, or what to say - the Bible has many comforting words that will usually say it better than I can.

Here's a song that comes to mind, sung by friends I love like family. The young people singing this song, recorded the track for their Grandmother, who always loved the Guardian Angel Prayer. I share all this, so that you might come to believe, if God is there for this poor crazy man, He most certainly is there for you too. It is my deepest hope that by repeating Isaiah's inspired words, which were said to herald Jesus' coming in the future, that these might bring comfort to the weary, just as they did for me when I was finally ready to listen closely.

Tuesday of Holy Week

Today's readings: April 7, 2009
Reading One: Is 49:1-6;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 71:1-2, 3-4a, 5ab-6ab, 15 and 17 ;
Gospel: Jn 13:21-33, 36-38;
go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

Sometimes, we are the ones responsible for betraying a friendship, a love relationship, and sometimes, betrayal even involves a sacrament like marriage. (I hope that is not you). And all too often it is easy to justify our actions. Perhaps the best way of seeing how our thoughts, words and actions hurt others - is to remember the times we were on the receiving end... when you felt betrayed by someone you love. For the one who feels betrayed, it is easy to see how the other party is acting unjustly.

So - just recall, for a moment, a time when you were on the receiving end of betrayal. For most of us, this does not, thankfully involve actual death - but suffering from the betrayal of broken friendships, and broken hearts occurs far too frequently. Why is that? Mostly I think because people choose to follow our own path, in lieu of following Jesus. As folks begin to walk their own path, the soul tries to justify itself, and hides from their guilt and shame. Especially if they are strident in their belief, that they have to "do their own thing", and are confident they are making the right choice of doing it My Way.

When we become confident of our own opinion, it blinds us to our deep feelings of guilt, and we tell ourselves, we do not feel badly at all. Oddly enough, the guilt exists, but very often - the betraying party is so caught up in their way, and their opinion - they are oblivious to how terrible they feel inside. There is a wonderful psalm, #36 that speaks to this - I don't feel guilty about anything that I am doing, and how it not only hurts others, it hurts yourself! At times like these, we play tricks on ourselves, and can become unaware of how badly we really feel, deep inside the heart. All too often, the sinfulness of broken love spins out of control, and hurts innocent bystanders, shared friends, children and families. So, meditate on a few passages from psalm 36 a moment.

Sin speaks to the sinner
in the depths of his heart
there is no fear of God
before his eyes.

He so flatters himself in his mind
that he knows not his guilt.
In his mouth are mischief and deceit
All wisdom is gone.

He plots the defeat of goodness
as he lies on his bed.
He has set his foot on evil ways,
he clings to what is evil.

Now - think about those relationship where you can see how true these words are - when you were the one being betrayed. It is easy to see the behavior in others. Here's the hard part - reverse the roles, and think of those relationships where you decided to end a relationship with someone you once cared for - whether it is a friend or a closer relationship.

It is now Holy Week - and it is time to mend fences. If you find yourself where you just don't care about someone anymore - get your act together and remember Jesus told us to love each. Even our enemies. But we are also called to love our friends, and those we no longer count as a friend. All too often - stuff ends up this way, because we feel guilty, over time anyway - and we can angry at others, because we don't enjoy feeling that way. Rise up out of the mire and reconcile. Ask Jesus for help - His hand is outstretched to help.

And - if you feel betrayed, know that you have a share of the blame for the relationship in need of repair. And offer mercy to the one who betrayed you. Love them anyway, even if there is a burden of sorrow that comes with it. This is what Jesus did for all of us. Follow Him - and get off the path called My Way. Follow Jesus.

The best way to lose your sorrow - is to heed the advice of the psalm in today's psalm reading and find refuge in God. And be merciful to those who hurt you.

For you are my hope, O Lord;
my trust, O God, from my youth.
On you I depend from birth;
from my mother's womb you are my strength.
R. I will sing of your salvation.

As I get close to the end of my Lenten Journey, I have to chuckle at myself on how the road has taken me from what I thought I going to do (travel a lot on the road), to what has actually happened over the course of the last several weeks. In truth, my Lenten Journey has covered a massive expanse of miles, but these miles were not made of asphalt and concrete and trips to the wilderness. The road has been much more of a journey inward, to a part of soul that I was led to. Very deep inside. This part of my soul has a profound yearning to draw closer to God, even if that means I have to die to get there, or get refined in a blazing fire. My faith in God, and my trust in God has grown. I had the courage to share many stories I bottled up inside, about how wonderful God has been to me. My journey has been following where I thought God was leading me. I honestly have tried to follow Jesus, wherever He led me. While it might appear that I lost my way, in truth - I hope I did lose My Way. I want to follow Jesus, not My Way. Here's a terrific song, written by a good friend named Lenny called Soul Searching. As Easter gets closer - I wanna be ready, just like the song says. The song was recorded at the studio where I work, and my buddy Frank was engineer and producer.

Monday of Holy Week

Today's readings: April 6, 2009
Reading One: Is 42:1-7;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 27:1, 2, 3, 13-14 ;
Gospel: Jn 12:1-11;
go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

When people are about to do things they are ashamed of, like how Judas yells at Mary, Lazarus' sister because she is putting perfumed nard on Jesus' hair and washing his feet, Judas yells at her saying that this money could have been saved for the poor. But today we learn of his real motivation - Judas was dipping in the money bag and getting stuff for himself. Often times, when we are so angry at others, we are really angry with ourselves.

Yet we all make mistakes - as we are all sinners. The important thing is to look at our response to our foolishness - how we react to our own sinfulness. Peter denied Jesus three times, and felt so terrible, he wept. In Peter's weakness - God gave Peter great strength. Read the Acts of the Apostles after Easter and see how Peter is totally different man. He won't deny who Jesus is, and furthermore - you will see how Peter becomes a man of great courage, as God gave him the strength to become brave. Contrast the reaction of Judas to his sinfulness. He falls into despair, because he cannot allow himself to reach out to God in his moment of darkness. Judas does not turn to God asking for mercy - he wallows in his despair and ultimately, takes his own life. Judas refuses to acknowledge God's greatness and has no understanding of God's mercy. Perhaps the saddest part about Judas, is that he might have become a great saint - if only he trusted more in God than his own opinion.

Palm Sunday of the Lord's Passion

Today's readings: April 5, 2009
Reading One: Is 50:4-7 ;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 22:8-9, 17-18, 19-20, 23-24 ;
Second Reading: Phil 2:6-11 ;
Gospel: Mk 14:1—15:47 or 15:1-39 ; go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

Listen to the readings. They are long readings, but very good words. Happy Palm Sunday. A day of rest. Ahhhh!

Saturday - fifth Week of Lent

Today's readings: April 4, 2009
Reading One: Ez 37:21-28;
Responsorial Psalm: Jeremiah 31:10, 11-12abcd, 13 ;
Gospel: Jn 11:45-56;
go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

Phew, last day before Holy Week. The home stretch. And there's still time. Time to go further and do those things you wanted to overcome and accomplish during Lent - but it hasn't happened yet. I hope this is a beneficial suggestion. 1) Focus on alms giving - there's a huge need at present. If you don't have the money, give up your skills and time to someone who needs your help. And 2) Focus on prayers. Find more time to set aside in prayer.

You still have some time left, and during Holy Week, you have all the reasons in the world to believe that your prayers will be answered, because your prayer is offered during Holy Week. My theory is that God is so powerful and infinite in scope, that as Easter arrives there an amazing concentration of power that makes itself known. All the Christians celebrating -WOOOOO! - which from our perspective is quite powerful, and it is - to us. But honestly, God is probably so much more massive in power - well, we can't even imagine it. Like we're an atom, and God is the sun. And I use that example because that was all I could initially imagine. Then, I wanted to make it different, edit that, & make it further apart. minus infinity to plus infinity. hahaha! I still can't do it.

Tap into God's power, spend more time in prayer and find the zone. Because there is a zone, but it takes time to find it. And you will have to turn off your tv, computer, or playstation. Try it.

When I started spending time in prayer, I realized most of my prayers were asking for something, a supplication is the fancy word. But you don't want to start out with that. The asking part. Find the zone. And practice.

There's a really good Catholic tradition, which is a simple formula for prayers. And it is a very good formula.

ACTS - A- Adore, C- Contrition, T - Thanks, S - supplication

Often I have the formula backwards STCA - which goes like.. oh God please do this, and I will be thankful, and admit I am unworthy, and then I will love and adore you. The STCA method doesn't work so well. It is a wavy line, and it is much harder to get to the powerful side of prayer. Personally I have found the ACTs to be a straighter line that will get you to the power sooner.

Prayer can become more powerful if you give it some time. We are told in scripture:

The prayers of a just man are a powerful thing

I believe that. And prayer is no different than snowboarding, playing music, dancing, whatever - if you devote a lot of time to it, then the endeavor will bear fruit.

I have more than a few things I had hoped to do, but didn't get it right just yet. Things about myself I needed to improve, things I was planning to do, or things I planned to give up, or change. I am guessing I am not alone here. Please join me, in spending more time with thankful prayers.

There's still time. Tomorrow begins Holy Week on Palm Sunday.

Friday - Fifth Week of Lent

Today's readings: April 3, 2009
Reading One: Jer 20:10-13;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 18:2-3a, 3bc-4, 5-6, 7 ;
Gospel: Jn 10:31-42;
go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

The volume gets louder and louder, like the thumpedy thump of a motorcycle engine with loud pipes as Jesus gets closer and closer to His day, that horrible day when He will die for all of our sins. How is it that some wish to put Him to death, and slander His Holy name, a name above all others - while countless other people will praise Him throughout the end of days. I regret my Lord, there were days when I didn't understand and was counted on the wrong side of this endless equation. But as I read the psalm today I recalled the day you saved me from death. And it wasn't the first time either. My prayer of sorrow and thankfulness came before you, and you heard me, and rescued me. And then, You held my hand, and You healed me.

The breakers of death surged round about me,
the destroying floods overwhelmed me;
The cords of the nether world enmeshed me,
the snares of death overtook me.
R. In my distress I called upon the Lord, and he heard my voice.
In my distress I called upon the LORD
and cried out to my God;
From his temple he heard my voice,
and my cry to him reached his ears.
R. In my distress I called upon the Lord, and he heard my voice.

Mt dear sweet Lord, you rescued me on December 10th, 2007 when I was riding my motorcycle home from work, getting off a little early to avoid the cold weather that comes as it gets dark in Decemeber. At the time, my heart was sad, but thanks to your love and comfort I was ok, just doing fine. No worries. While driving home on a 45 mile an hour two lane highway called Mt Holly-Huntersville road, a car pulled out from a side street on my right, to make a left turn. Darn, my pipes were not Vance and Hines Screaming Eagles, so he didn't hear me or see me for that matter (must have pushed the stealth button by accident I guess). Anyway, he pulled out to make a left turn right in my path. There was no time to react, I just tried to slow down, by braking and laying the bike down, I think that is what happened. I couldn't remember a thing. However, I do remember being thankful that I was not allowed to finish my sentence which began - What the... SLAM. I have no idea when the ambulance arrived or how long I was laying in the road, looking quite dead. My windshield, a GE Lexane piece of plastic was sliced in half, my front end bent like a paper clip. The bike was totaled. And so was I. When I regained consciousness in the ambulance, I remember my first thoughts. In a blurry empty place.

Oh my Lord, was this what it felt like? I am so sorry to have contributed, even in the smallest way. Forgive me, and remember me in Your Kingdom.

It was still blurry ... but I remember saying those words to myself. And then the blurriness receded, and I saw I was in an ambulance. The medics were talking about something, and I wanted to make sure I was still alive - so I asked them a question.

Does everyone still hate George Bush?

They paused, looked at each other, then let out a nervous chuckle, Yeah, everyone still hates George Bush. I was alive, still in the Earthly realm I thought to myself. And I thanked God for such a funny joke. I can be funny sometimes, but that was too good a joke for me. HA!

I was taken to a hospital - Oh NO! the same hospital where my buddy Frank was nearly killed by the treatment he received. All I wanted to do was get out of there, as soon as possible. Against my will, they performed a bunch of MRIs, and finally after much pleading, they put some drops in my right eye, which deadened the pain. I was also given a pain killer to ease the hurt of a crushed skull around my nose and right eye, and a few broken ribs, and a bunch of road scrapage from sliding before I hit the car. I still have a big indent in my right hip that looks like someone took an ice cream scoop into my leg 16 months later. Why this hospital I wondered - get me outta here! I sat in a hallway as they looked and looked through possible insurance carriers, to see if this poor slob had insurance that would cover the expenses, which were being charged for every second I was in their care. I was there for a few hours, and I would receive bills that would total over 10,000 bucks from the hospital, and the $700+ ride to the place where some very high dollar folks, were ummm ... looking out for me. Wow, that is the most expensive hallway I was ever in. And I have no intention of ever going back to that over-priced restaurant again. I never even got any food.

The next morning, I went to 7:00 am mass, looking a little nasty as Monsignor asked me politely if I would please wear sunglasses the next time I came to mass. It was hard getting out of bed, but after rocking back and forth a few times, I got the momentum to help myself out of bed. Mass was especially wonderful, as I knew the healing process had begun. How blessed I felt to know the feast day of St Lucy, patron saint of eyes was just a few days away. I would pray to her help because my eye felt like it was sliced in a million pieces.

I went to an eye doctor to have him look at it. He was a wonderful guy, and did a great job. Thank you, Dr. Spicola - my surfer dude eye guy from Ridgemont High. He explained to me, that the covering layer of the membrane on my eye was sliced into countless little pieces. HA! And he gave me a prescription for a bunch of different kinds of eye drops and told me I would probably need eye surgery. Nah, St. Lucy was hard at work with her sewing needle.

One day, a month or two later on follow-up visits to his office, I was asked by the receptionist to provide some answers to her questions. I told her I was in a motorcycle accident in early December. Her eyes got big... When? December 10th. Oh no, where? Mt Holly-Huntersville Rd I told her. She said, oh my God, I saw YOU lying in the road as I was going home. I was certain you were dead, and you were the first dead person I ever saw! I replied, well I hate to disappoint you! ahahaha. And I once again felt compelled to thank God for such a great comeback line. You see, I am not that funny, at least my kids tell me that all the time.

The truth is, the recovery felt like a sewing needle bobbing in and out of my eye. I imagined St. Lucy hard at work and prayed for comfort with all my strength. I would be fine, God willing. Thank you my Lord for saving... is all I can say.

Let me close again with a few tunes. This one, Funky Motorcycle was written in 1994 or 1995 and recorded in my garage. My buddy Frank is engineer and came up with the wicked bass line. I didn't have a bike at the time, never even rode on on the road yet for that matter. Kinda ironic, huh? It is about how hard it is to understand women. One day they are sweet, the next day they are like a cornered badger. Don't get me wrong, I think women are the greatest thing since sliced bread, well better than sliced bread - you know what I mean. But let's face it, women are hard to understand sometimes, for us men especially.

This next song is a song I wrote when Frank was in the hospital, called Sweet Raphael. When I sing it, and really mean it as a solemn prayer - I can't sing it without sobbing. Inexplicable groaning. Wailing like a woman in labor. I have sung this song so many times, with many many different names of friends I know who are sick, and in need of comfort and healing that can only come from God. I am helpless. But I can't just do that when a microphone is shoved in my face. But please know, I have song this song for Doug, Richard, Andy, Louise, Florence, Debbie, Vivian, Christine, Charlotte, Morgan, Peter, Pat, Rodrigo, Tom, Jennie, Kathy, Kate, Dave, Phoebe, Amy, and ad infinitum... the list is too long. I love you all so much. And yes, I have sung the song for myself, a sinner and a man in need of healing.

Thursday - Fifth Week of Lent

Today's readings: April 2, 2009
Reading One: Gn 17:3-9;
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 105:4-5, 6-7, 8-9 ;
Gospel: Jn 8:51-59;
go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

Today gets us closer toward the final days before we begin Holy Week. During Holy Week, we are asked to take the journey to the next level and really focus on what changes we need to make in ourselves, to make us more pleasing in God's sight. The video reflections for today were very helpful for me. More time for prayer, more time works of charity, more time for drawing deeper and deeper into a loving relationship with God, and with all His children.

I find it hard to make any comments on today's readings. For some time, I have been sitting in front of my computer... with this... I got nothing feeling. I prayed about it, and I keep getting back to this same story, feeling like I am supposed to share it. So, the experience relates to the power of prayer, which is something, everyone could do more of, especially as we approach Holy Week. A few days ago, I mentioned a wonderful experience that happened on Dec. 3, the feast day of St. Francis Xavier. Now at the time this happened, I was not really in tune with this day being St. Francis Xavier's feast day, but when the day came around each year, I remembered what happened, and as such I made note of it. Many years later, a good friend who was a former student in a confirmation class (the one that called itself Azariah's prayer, from yesterday's post), wanted to go to Xavier. In truth, he is much more than a good friend to me, in a lot of ways, I like to think of him as a son I never had, because we have spent a lot of time together and he was been very helpful to me when I needed an extra set of strong hands. Yes, I love him. A Great kid. So, I found myself on November 13 last year praying before mass, and I realized I had not spent much, if any! time praying that he would, God willing, get into the college he wanted to go to. I felt badly for this, but I had gotten caught up in all kinds of daily pressures, as we all fall prey to from time to time. I came to this realization because it was the feast day of St Frances Xavier Cabrini, a.k.a Mother Cabrini who founded a ton of hospitals, schools and orphanages. So I said a prayer, it was really short, having just started to pray about it. Honestly, I think was no more that 25 words into the prayer - asking Mother Cabrini to please tug on St Francis Xavier's sleeve and ask him to help my buddy in his desire to go to Xavier. Then _BAM, a remarkable thing happened. I felt I got an answer, in that little voice that comes out of nowhere. It said - He's in, and he will get the news today. OK, Awesome! So, after mass I called his house and shared the prayer moment with his mom. It was right after mass about 8:00 am. Guess what - in that days mail, November 13th, he got the acceptance letter. BAM!

Rest assured, it has nothing to do with me, at the time I felt like I was so little, just a spec of dust is how I felt about myself in terms of being important. I also felt very blessed by God. Just be little, as young St. Theresa of Lisieux, the little flower liked to say. I was reading several books by another Teresa, St. Teresa of Avila, who offers amazing insights into prayers, and she said it much better than I ever could. She is the first female doctor of the Catholic church. Something like, the more humble you feel about yourself, the more powerful your prayers, since they are welcomed, just as a parent would listen more eagerly to a gentle, humble child than a brazen child who is noisy and prideful. It makes sense if you think about it. Be tiny. The least is the greatest.

The truth of the matter is, that when you share experiences like this with others, you are very likely to get responses that are quick to jump on you for NOT being humble. hahaha. There is an irony there, huh. Responses like - Who do you think you are, you are so arrogant, you are so annoying, shut up with your prayer stuff, you are supposed to pray alone in your room. It is easy to parse the bible in a way to attack, it happens every day. It took me a while, but I learned this too was a blessing. Because oddly enough, it'll keep you humble, when people tell you to just be quiet, get lost, shut up, especially if all you are trying to do is tell them how great God is, and only want to share something wonderful you feel, in hopes that they might seek the wonderful feeling, that God so freely gives, to His children who only want to love Him with everything they have to offer.

Anyway... time for me to stop for today. phew... I got something posted for today, when all I had to begin with, was nothing. ahhaha. Since St. Francis Xavier was a Jesuit, which was founded by St. Ignatius of Loyola - here's a prayer song of St. Ignatius' prayer - Dedication to Jesus.

Wednesday - Fifth Week of Lent

Today's readings: April 1, 2009
Reading One: Dn 3:14-20, 91-92, 95;
Responsorial Psalm: Daniel 3:52, 53, 54, 55, 56 ;
Gospel: Jn 8:31-42;
go to this page (for all three sections listed above on one page) And here's an audio file; & reflections (video)

The story offered in today's first reading and psalm will always be special to me, because of my experience teaching confirmation to wonderful group of children. We were asked to come up with a name for our group, and we chose Azariah's prayer. Now the three guys in the story - Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, were each given new names when they were captives in Babylon. Abednego is also named Azariah, so relax - if you knew the story, you would know that. And in the same way - each child in confirmation is given a new name, one they chose which is also their patron Saint. For me - my new name became Joseph. I picked St. Joseph because he was very wise, yet humble. He has no speaking part in the bible. I needed to learn this virtue, humility - and I certainly knew that all too well, but I digress. The story of Azariah's prayer is what I want to think about today.

These three gents are about to tossed into a raging fire. The fire is so hot - it burned up the soldier who was stoking the fire. HOT! They are about to die a terrible and frightening death. And instead of serving a false God, they do not relent, and choose being burned alive as opposed to bowing down before the king of this world - who was King Nebuchadnezzar, back in the day. Well, poor King Nebuchadnezzar is really really!!! mad at this - because he is so certain he is of his own greatness, and as such, orders everyone to bow down before his statue when the trumpet blows. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego refuse to do so.

Azariah offers such a beautiful prayer - first acknowledging his own foolishness, and apologizing to God for being an unworthy servant. He says - if God decides to let us burn alive, it is because we deserve it, due to our own sinfulness. But God is great and can do anything, and in all humility - Azariah asks God, if it is His will - to let them not burn alive. But God does is right. Let His will be done. God the Father hears Azariah's sweet prayer, and they see four men, not three in the fire. The fourth man, is called the Son of God in the story, a name that Jesus will be known by - hundreds of years later. The fourth person in the fire is also called an angel. Who is it? How am I supposed to know, I only know, or believe, that God came to their rescue, just as Jesus comes to our rescue. And they emerge from the fire, totally fine. They don't even smell like smoke. And when they are in the fire, they are seen to be dancing in delight. Having a great time in the land of Babylon as the song goes (see below).

The Gospel features Jesus telling the people - the Truth, the way it is, like it or not. If you loved the Father, you would not be trying to kill Jesus. You would hear His words, and know indeed that He comes with a message of love from God the Father. The reason they want to kill him - is because the words Jesus speaks shine a light on their own shame and sins. They hate their sinfulness, just as we all should should. The problem is - they blame Jesus for shining a light on this truth, instead of following the path and prayer of Azariah. All of us are given the same choice. And, judging from my own experiences - we will all be tossed into a fire of some kind during the course of life. My prayer today - is that people choose the prayer of Azariah, and not to bow down to the king of this world below. Jesus saves you from the fire - the king of this world is the one who throws you into it.

Years ago - a song was recorded in Charlotte, NC by The Golden Gate Quartet - at a small recording studio at Sharon Rd and Providence Rd, which is now Hotel Charlotte, a bar. I thought you might enjoy it. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego.